Incorrigible

Drunk. Memory loss. Fucks. Scary. Fun. Haha.

I'm feeling retro..

Wednesday. Tattoo. Wooohooooo!

Mooo...

Got my septum pierced. Finally.. Enjoyed every second of it. I cant wait for my next tatt.. hahaha!! Physical hurt is always better than emotional hurt.. But please dun punch me.

Song lyrics | Happy Ending lyrics

Whatever

If thoughts can be written as words, how many hearts will be broken? If love can be expressed through actions, how many will learn to cherish? How much hurt would you feel in order to be loved? How much sadness you can take in order to feel happiness? Its either black or white, right or wrong, love or hate, yes or no. I'm afraid that if you are happy now, there's always a time to be sad. Longing for love, yet can't handle being heartbroken. How many times when you're sleeping with someone, you know she is the one for you? How many times when you're holding hands with the one your other half, you know she will always be there for you? Or is it just a habit? You are so used to her, it has become a part of your life. Yet she can walk out on you anytime. Isn't it a losing game?

Gentle breeze, quiet thoughts.

I feel a sense of calmness when i come to you. I feel peaceful when i talk to you. I get a sense of security when i'm around you. I know i won't be alone because you will always be be there. Love, conquers all. Your presense conquers all. You make me feel small, but i know i will be safe. You are important to me.

Happy, Really.

I am feeling so damn happy these few days. Everyone has a market. Market of admirers. I have a market. I love supermarkets. I am happy how this realistic world works. I am happy how people love me. I am happy how people only hang out with only cool people. I am happy that they dun feel ashamed of themselves for choosing friends. I am happy that they think that they are so damn cool. I am so fucking happy. Really. I am just an auntie at heart. Really.

Love

What's more than love? What's bigger than love?

What's your purpose?

Everyone does things with a purpose. A purpose to get rich, get famous, get known, get watever. Does anyone do things with a heart anymore? Someone might say, if u do things without a purpose, then you have lived your life in vain. So how much can you accomplish? Then how much love have you given? How much have you cared? Do you really bother? I guess nowadays you get hurt easily doing things in an emotional level cos no one really cares anymore. Its always with a purpose.

SicK!!

High fever - 39Degrees
Flu - Running Nose
Cough - Chesty Cough
Muscle Ache

Requested for a jab. On my butt. I'm feeling like shit. Fuck.

Drink and be Merry!!

We humans are so complicating that we dun understand ourselves, what more about others? Kindly show some love to those who needed it this festive season. I know I have my fair share already cos i want to be selfish. There is no love for me to give for now.. I just wanna take and take and take and take. And take and take and take. Love is free, so i guess its pretty worthless. If it takes your life away, then its worth something. Funny how the more you can't get it, the more you wanna have it. But the moment you have it, it doesn't interest you anymore. So maybe the next step to it is to cherish. How hard it is to learn how to cherish? Or maybe be grateful? Or learn to appreciate? Life isn't just about you alone. Me alone. But i just wanna be selfish. Really. My love is worthless cos i give them out for free.

And Johnny Depp Says..

"I don't want to be a product," he says. "Of course you want the movies to do well. But I don't want to know ... who's hot now and who's not and who's making this much dough and who's boffing this woman or that one. I want to remain ignorant of all this. I want to be totally outside and far away from all of it."

I am craving for a good sandwich..

Stolen

How can you build your happiness on someone else's expense? Are you so blind to see? Or you just couldn't care less?

hAppyHapPyhaPpy

i am happy. i feel like eating orange. i feel pretty. i feel loved. We must be hurt in order to grow, We must fail in order to know, We must lose in order to gain, Some lessons are learned best only through pain. i want to hit to the lowest pit and pick myself up again. i am exhilarated. Seriously.

Marriage? Or just love?

"You loved so many in your life, but the one that you are gonna marry, must be the one that loves you more than you love him, then you will get your happiness."

How true is that? How much love can you give to that person so that she can feel loved? Maybe just thinking abt the person makes you feel loved. Maybe the small lil things that she does makes you feel loved. Love, is just a feeling, a good feeling, a very fantastic feeling that no one wanna be without. But the fact is that once the feeling is no longer around, how miserable it can get? Its just like racing. You love the wind, the speed, the excitement, but it crashed. Reality checked. The consequences. The hurt, the time to recover. Get back on your feet again. Will you speed again? Do you miss the feeling? Are you able to bear the consequences? Wat are we really after?

The Truth

Seems like everyone has a theory of everything, if not, a reason for certain actions and for those who dun need explanation, its all excuses. So ultimately, where is the truth? Does it need all the facts, the sincerity, the bottom of my heart truth? There is no right or wrong, its just whether you want to win the argument or not. There is always 2 sides of the story, so which one is the truth? What is the truth? Is it easier to listen to lies then?

I am so in love with this song right now..

i seriously need to read a good book. Enlightenment.

love & hate

when u are in love with a person, even when she is shitting, you will think its sweeeet. When you think the person owes you too much, even she buy you gifts, you will think its worthless. Is this hate?

Seriously,

Shit happens in life. So far, i haven't shit in my pants yet. The grass is still greener on my side. I am living in a garden for now. When you lost something that you treasured so much, you realised that there is something else more precious than that. Once you walked thru the shadow, you can find light on the other side. Take the time to enjoy the pain cos you know you won't be able to feel it again for the longest time. Being positive has never been my virtue but watever shit happens now, nothing will be compared to the times I've been thru although it wouldn't be that bad either. No one can take away your experiences you had, the pain you suffered, the loss that you felt. That's you. Get over it and move on to the next chapter in life. But still, we are all humans, filming mtv once a while wouldn't hurt.

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Lyrics Kelly Clarkson Never Again Lyrics

**MagiC**

Passing Time

Months pass by just a blink of an eye, and i am still enjoying wat i'm doing. Its the first time in the longest time that i havent start to whine and bitch abt life. Life. Live it. Superficial, forget it. Here's a little conversation..

Scene 1
A:Where are you working now?
B:Malaysia as an apprentice.
A:Huh? Why m'sia?

Scene 2
A:Where are you working now?
B: Japan as a cleaner.
A:Wah! Japan leh!!

How good can you get?

Why do you care?

You care because you are a busybody or you care because you genuinely showing concern? How many times you heard some other people's life and pass comments like it none of ur business and make judgements when you dun even know what really happen? People are so ignorant but they think they know, they dun. How much do you really know? So stop pretending. Just shut up. Stop thinking that you are greater, smarter, whatever than anybody else.
**Dun outsmart yourself, it will only make you look dumb. *gRRR*

Disconnecting...

What happens when u are disconnected from this world and takes on to the unknown? Sense of fear? Lost? Or sense of excitement? adrenaline? many times its just choices. left or right? yes or no? buy or not to buy? go or not to go? How many times u know urself better but u hear otherwise from friends? Do they know u better than u know urself? Is that self-centred? I think i am crazy. The world is way bigger than myself. There are way too many possibilities. I just dun want to stay the way it is for me. Period.

Searching....

To those who haven't know, i have already officially closed down my retail shop a few months back and now currently busy doing something else, which is tattooing. Running business is not easy, and i am glad i gain the experience. So anyone who is interested in having a tattoo or a cover up or repair, please let me know. For now, i am going to work.

I'm FeeLinG EViL!

**We can't handle the differences & yet we are complaining of being still the same.**


I was taking a bus in the evening one day and something happened on the bus which shocked me. As it was evening time, there were quite a number of joggers ard. I was in a bus with with a few passengers. The driver was an indian. One skinny male jogger board the bus and asked the driver where the bus leads to. The driver din even have the time to answer, the jogger spat on the driver and went down. Stunned. The first thing that came to my mind was: Racist or wat? I was angered. The driver closed the door and the jogger came again and knocked the door. The driver ignored him and took out his hanky to wipe the spit off his face. When he drove off, the jogger can still gave a thumbs up.
I really admired the driver whom was still so composed and continued driving but I guess there is nothing much he can do anyway. I really hope that those people who they judge by skin color, nationality or anything other physical means will grow cancer cells and die. We are all human beings as whole, as a person, whom we cannot choose what color we want, where we want to be borned and raised. You think what? The Sims ar?
Putting down on people's character based on skin color. How shallow is that? You shud be ashamed and go die cos you have wasted your whole life judging others and yet dunno people are also judging you. If all were the same color, wouldn't remarks be diminished? But what color shud it be? purple? The color that was never seen on people. So that people will not feel more superior or inferior. See each other into the eye and respect them as human being just like you and me. GRrrRR!!

Torture!

Went facial with mum yesterday. I know my face is like shit, even the beautician also said: Wah! its a challenge.. she asked my mum to take package, which is $450 for 14 sessions. And she paid. The session was a nightmare. PAIN! more painful than being tattooed! Damn. The lady said no choice, have to squeeze everything out. I have a choice, I dun wanna go already. After that, my mum said I have to take care of my face, use water wash face is the bast, keep the face clean, I was thinking, then why must go facial if use water can gao dim. The last sentence she said was the best. She said "Your face looks older than your mother's." Wah piang. She win already. I have to finish the package. Must look younger than her, so much money, pay for me go slimming centre then can get married already lor. =Þ

Truthfully,

how many times can you be so ever truthful to your friends? How much her words hurt, how kpo she can be, how she behaved that not much pple like her but you still her friend, how ignorant she can be, how hot tempered she can be, how loud she annoys others? How fat she became,how demanding she is, how superficial she gets, how she thinks too highly of herself? I guess not, cos you dun want her to get hurt cos she is ur friend. You dun wanna to talk abt it cos it doesn't matter, it is getting no where, there will be more quarrels, and ultimately, its the end of the relationship. So you chose to be tolerant, you chose to ignore, and you began to feel resentful, you feel like its ur fault, you felt that you shud tell her how you feel. Those incidents that caused all these hate. But soon, you just leave it there and you drift away. Like one of my best friend said "You killed ur friends and they die also dunno why" I admit I am not that good either, so lets make new friends. Period. I can't tolerate you no more, just like the others. Communication let me down cos it only makes more complications. Maybe thats why I have become an introvert. ha.

Thesis?

My friend asked me what happened to my blog; and as usual, people got busy, get sick and tired of blogging, and there are thousand and one things u can say to put it off like many things had happened, dunno where to start on telling, there are too many things on the mind, and finally; maybe i shud just shut it down. Full stop. I have been trying to write non stop on what comes to my mind, but i guess that would get too many people involve, cos its the people that gets ur mind going and going and going and going.. I always think that seeing a psychiatrist is for the rich cos they have nothing better to do, they just need someone to talk to. I want to become rich. No matter how much i write, how loud i shout, how annoyed i become, the world is not going to change becos of me. my friends wouldnt change, i wouldnt change, they dun change, why shud i change? so all dun change. Say if i change, i agree on all the things they said, becos its their mindset, i agree to abcdefg to z, whats become of me? nothing. Did i become a pushover? If i disagree, i shout and scream, I get my point across, then they said why cant i change? So now i have to change. Then why dun u change to accomodate me then? The truth is change change lah, who cares? dun like, walk away lor. there has been some changes indeed. I prefer to lead a slower pace of life. I get less angry, i pay attention to the things i do, getting away the stress at work, the politics and the PR towards colleagues. Maybe i take things too seriously that i cant cope with the world, the people, the whatever. i tot abt death a few weeks back. i'm the kind of person that think of such things which i dun quite understand it myself either. theres nothing much this world can offer me cos i am not intending to offer anything to the world anyway. most of other peoples lives are more or less stabled down and even if they are not stable, its not my problem. I dare to challenge life, doing stunts physically, but not mentally. I get emotionally drained that i want to give up. The dare devil versus the cowardice in me. I am contradicting. I have split personality and i want to see a psychiatrist but i am not rich. My step aunt once told me that i have to get married at 28 if not, i cry myself to sleep from then onwards. ha. my future looks bleak, not becos i am coming to 28 and hoping to get married but cant situation, its just that i havent found one rich gf that can afford the fees that i am going to pay when i see a psychiatrist. Looks like i will have to invest on one waterproof pillow soon and sign up for some facial packages once i reach 28. I am still thinking of shutting it down this blog..

Wrong Info

SORRY! the webbie is www.the-t-word.com

Train of tots

I dun understand why people get into fights. Do you really want to kill that person? Have you have such anger in you that needs releasing? I would really want to kill that person if I really get into a fight. Cos it doesnt make sense if the person don't die. only death then the anger will be diminished. Its like you are so consumed with anger that consequences come later. If not, dun fight at all. Thank you.

Another thing, my website is up. Please feel free to take a look.
www.thetword.com
the shop has expanded but no pics yet.

Ok folks, Something different this time

To everyone who reads, my blog has been dead for some time and its time to revive a lil. I have officially quitted my job, which is crazy. Some might say, everybody will say, whatever they say, I can't really please everybody which gives me mental torture. Maybe because when u know u are not perfect and wanted it to be a lil more perfect and yet, why should I be perfect when u are not perfect blah blah blah.. siao liao.. anyway I have known no better way to break the news is that I will be doing some business at the old Queensway Shopping Centre selling Tees. Anyone who is interested in some sideline selling stuff of ur own, let me know. I have a space for you. Here's a sneak preview of my tiny little baby.. heh.






Ok, thats abt all. Can't put too much, there won't be much to see in the shop if I put it all up. =D

ten thousands of WHY?

I am havina a mental block. Have you realised sometimes when u did the best, its still not good enough? Character maybe. All i know is I have a plan trying to do something different. For once.

Belated Valentine Quote

Cheesy quote, I know but I like!

*Love doesn't make the world go round,
It makes life worthwhile

**People can do a million and one things to cover up their flaws,
They dun even know themselves anymore
Thats where people become pretentious
Afraid to show their true selves
Or maybe they are more worse off than any one of us.

Someone once told me everyone is with an excess baggage. I was afraid to let anyone know I do have one, I am now waiting for another to show me whats theirs.
I have to pay my dues
I have to cope with work
I have to struggle with stress
I have to deal with my crazy personalities
I am just like you and any other person.

Reshuffling

Changed a new CPU recently. Busy with work as usual. Chinese New year passed by like a breeze and now its Feb. Mmm.. Basically I'm in a love & hate situation with my work. Its gonna be a long story so I guess I will save it for another day. But the story I'm gonna tell now is a true life account that happened to me while I was at work.

(Owner is an uncle)
Me: I'm sorry we can't fix up ur car if the insurance can't approve the payout to our company. Maybe you can speak to ur insurer?
Owner: Who is the person in charge of my case? Maybe I can speak to her directly.
Me: Ok. Her name is Catherine. You can call her at XXXXXXXX
Owner: Battery? Her name is Battery ar?
Me: No. Its CATHERINE.
Owner: Ok. Battery. The car battery.
Hysterical Me: OK. you can call her battery. Make sure she approve ur claim and we will fix ur car, ok?

Thanks, uncle, for making my day.

My knees are weak
I am having diarrhea til my anus bleeds.

Running.... a fever

Having a lousy weekend. First is I have been diagnosed with a permanent sinus, which is probably my cat's the culprit. Then came a major flu and now with a fever. Eyes are burning, head is heavy and body is aching. I need some pity please. Can I lean on somebody? It rhymes! Damn it. Its the flu season. I caught the bug.

Did you know?
I don't know.
How can you not know?
Because I don't wanna know.
Why should I know?
Because everybody knows.
So?
You have to know.
Just shut up.

You killed me.
Is it?
Yes
How?
Your words.
Really?
Are you hurt?
No. I just died.

Bad Resolution

How can one lost the handphone and still try to sleep with someone else? Get a life. Or maybe just slutz in progress. Lame. Expect to get pity? Or a "helping hand"? This world is just full of shit. Pissed. Ok, Its the new year & I survived it. Drank a bottle of Bombay Gin. Headache was not so bad. Its a tradition for me to get really fucked up on festive season. Its a damn curse which I can't shake off. But! I did! I kept my cool & tolerated shit, like pple got fucked up & I got annoyed. I kept it. So slowly the night went. Drink drank drunk, drank drink drunk, drunk drink drank. I suppose this is a good year for me already. Its just another year. So resolution? How abt something for a change? I hope i can be a bitch, be less sane, be insensitive, more selfish, heck all responsibilities, have fun, go clubs, get hooked up with someone else or many other someone else, get more drunk.The solution to the world. Then maybe pple will get to notice me. Ha. No, seriously, i want to lose some weight. Maybe treat myself better. If i can be the above, i dun mind too. Heh.

Happy Christmas And Merry New Year!

Wishing all my friends a blessed year ahead! Went to market this morning and found out that there was Watson's in my neighbourhood. Yeh! My dad told me its been opened for three weeks already. That shows that I've neen busy. As usual. I guess this is the time for finding an excuse to celebrate yet again, with another public holiday. Please get get and be merry! CHeerS!

MOS night

Went for the opening. The queue is way longer than hello kitty's. Well, so I joined the queue with faith. I tot, I can do it on halloween's night @ zouk when its full house, I should have no probs getting in this one. No matter what. Pple were leaving in the end, I had a few hiccups with my friends, the queue getting shorter, but it was still stuck. Damn. Finally my time came with the invite that can get me friggin in. For free. The place is friggin big. I got lost finding the toilet. And the toilet is huge. Imagine that. Its totally cool. Main hall, hip hop room, RnB room, Retro room and those redundant rooms for meeting and private functions. I went in with a tour guide, telling me what the rooms are.. heh.. she went for the soft launch party, thats why. So I suppose i badly need a drink to get in the mood for club. Whatever happens, drink & get merry. I had a terrible headache after that. I would love to go there again, with no tensions please. Thank you.

No queues guaranteed


million disco balls at the retro room.

Another wisdom tooth

I just went for an extraction just now. MC for tmr. Yeh. The next two extractions will be major. I can't rem where i left my previous tooth. Its somewhere in the room. I dun rem throwing it away.. or did i? Damn. Now my 2 teeth can't meet.. My mouth is still numb.. reminds me of Deuce Bigalow. ha, except there is no one i can confess my love to. Where is my other tooth?.......

Time Capsule

Finally. I got rid of my container full of memories. Left there for like 8 long years, collecting dust. Tons of letters from the past, made me felt so loved. I had to throw it all away. I need to clear my space. My journals dated from 1996. That was my history. Those whatever tots, feelings I had. Those memeories that I clinged on, of no use cos it will never be the same again. Life's life. My old friend said; Old won't go, new couldn't come. I was waiting for the new to come first then get rid of the old one. ha. Guess it will not happen.
Extracted from one of my old journals;

*Feelings overwhelm me
So blind that I can't see
Love cuts me deeply
Sadness live in it
& I know happiness has left quietly

Sugarfly

Damn my leave was not approved. I had to clear leave before 15th. So I took the 15th. There goes my plan. Or maybe there is no plan at all. I am so consumed by my work and I am suffering from memory loss. Went Thumper the other day. I began to detest and not being able to enjoy myself. Maybe I was not drunk that day. Maybe I was looking for another high. It becomes a routine for me, for my mind, thinking of work the next day. I am completely fine with my work. Meaningless to see who is with who, being seen with whom, "hi, how are you? this is who and who." Maybe I am not with someone else. I tot I can enjoy myself... Maybe I will the next time round. 5 jugs of whatever alcohol please. Maybe I'm just old.

I am so obsessed in making my cat fat.

I am getting a dining set from a friend, friend's friend's friend. At least I am getting something from my wishlist. If it can come true then maybe i will input more. ha. I realised i loan the company van. for free. but, no license. damn. i need one. soon. Eve told me Joyce was going taiwan. Dunno if she went already. for election? Planning to go with dad in april. Then we can flaunt our hokkien speaking skills. heh. my current travel plan i to spend new year overseas. KL? anyone? 30th till the 2nd. 2006. i want a long bus ride. i want to stay in bukit bintang. i want to go bintang walk.

*Different frequencies will lead to electricution.

**Its amazing some people are still around because it's illegal to kill them.

**Get a life of yourself, not from others.

I am getting forgetful. There are so many things I wanted to write but everything is blank now. My pirated memory card. Damn. I need to remember to fix up a dental appt, massage appt,my d&d dinner on 17th Dec, get papers for my printer and buy a new h/p. I need to change my monitor, motherboard and casing. Chinese new year is coming, I have to get some clothes, buy some stuff for the house.I feel like changing my kitchen table, get a big seawater fishtank, change my floor tiles, get a bathtub, okay.. I am thinking too much..

Finally, I know what one of my issues I'm having. I want to write it all down already. I saw a comment @ Today newspapers the other day. It pisses me off. It said the non smokers shud have a right to pour water on those who smoke and invade their space. I was angry. Talking about accomodating. Its the same as being a racist. Dun you have legs to walk away? What about those who burn the joss papers & jossticks? Why dun you pour water over it? What about those who drives? Exhaust fumes? Why dun you put a knob on the pipe? Irritating. Although I am not a chain smoker, I seriously dun agree on that comment. Who do you think you are anyway?

Phuket05

3 days 2 nights.. I had fun. Opening night left me in awe. We went tiger(Thai Girl) show. What those men said were true. They can do anything to their pussies.. blowing whistle, putting in ping pong balls, smoke, opening coke bottles, to putting in 20 razor blades in and taking them out. Not forgetting cocks.. they hit the drums with their cocks.. speechless.. Basically all the performers up there are naked. Too bad no cameras allowed.
Went for shooting and bungy jumping next day. Shooting was ok but the jump was insane! 60metres high. Crazy.. The fear and the excitement. Finally did it. Went shopping after that. Nothing much basically.. the beach is crowded with people. Over commercialized. Disappointing.
Departure day - Went to get a tattoo done. Cheap!

For your viewing pleasure:
http://sg.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/alimama82/album?.dir=/c4b6

Lalalala

I realised I have been neglecting my blog a lil cos I found my black book. Complicating. Repulsive. I watched Chocolate factory last nite at home. I would prefer Chocolate than Corpse bride. Funny they have the same actor and actress. Low budget maybe. I was thinking about holidaying this coming new year. Wierd how I always think about going away when the year is coming to an end.. I would really want to spend some quiet time... Think I'm getting old. I'm going Phuket next weekend. Company trip. How lucky. Too bad it doesnt coincide with Nation V. Talking about getting quiet.. Guess I can't really go eye cruising.. heh..

Making of Halloween night.

http://sg.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/alimama82/album?.dir=acd9

Getting Married!

I received a call from my ex-neighbour last few weeks. She tried to reach me at home but I was always sleeping. So I asked my dad, She getting married is it? And yes she is. Today is the day. I din expect her to call me on my mobile, asking me to attend. Well, usually people move and forget, living their own lives, getting busy, who knows who is married anyway? Only when we meet on the streets, then we started to talk about casual things, and then after, continue our lives, getting busy again.. Someone whom I always find to hang out with when I was younger, going to each other houses, learning to cook soup from her mother, is getting married. Guess I'm grateful that I'm remembered.

Value?

VALUE = An amount, as of goods, services, or money, considered to be a fair and suitable equivalent for something else; a fair price or return.
Monetary or material worth: the fluctuating value of gold and silver.
Worth in usefulness or importance to the possessor; utility or merit: the value of an education.
A principle, standard, or quality considered worthwhile or desirable: “The speech was a summons back to the patrician values of restraint and responsibility”

*Who decides the value? The value of friends, the relationships, family and work?

Are you destined to be single test?

It's not a shock that you're still single. While you're surely a perfectly wonderful human being, you aren't putting yourself in situations where potential partners can discover your natural charm and magnetism! You're just not helping yourself find a date; you may turn down great opportunities to get to know people out of sheer laziness, set unreasonable standards for dating material, or behave in ways that do not signal "available". Perhaps you are an extremely independent person or you just don't really care if you manage to snag a compatible partner. If dating is just fun and games for you and you don't give a fig that you're single, there's nothing wrong with your casual dating behavior. If you are looking for love, however, it wouldn't hurt to start putting in more of an effort. Let your friends set you up, take some classes where you can meet other singles, and give people a chance before you decide they're not the one for you. As long as you don't cross that fine line between friendliness and desperation, you'll be boosting your chances of making a love connection!

*Do I really have to be attached???

Attention Seeker

Cynical ME


pOrn?


Lantern Festival= Candle Festival?

MY TOy

Us drawn by us

Swing way low till it hits the rocks.

My mood these days are like fuck
Maybe its the stress
Maybe its the work
Maybe its people saying you are incompetent
Maybe its the menses coming
Whatever it is, I HATE IT!

I miss taking pictures

I miss having fun

I miss going crazy

I miss my cheerful self

Maybe I just miss you

I am getting too sane
I lost interest in myself.
You
interest me.

**What is life without faith?
Disappointment?
Because you know how the world really is.
You know how people fail you.
You know how alone you are.
You know eveything is just a passing phase.
You know nothing is forever.
Above all, you know you have faith,
nothing really matters.

Monday

The flu bug has caught me. And it is fierce. I've been infect for about a week and yesterday nite the fever virus paid me a visit as well. I'm weak. WEAK! No matter how loud I am, I cant scare them away! Damn! Its the seventh month. Seventh Month. Maybe because I didn't pay respects to the dead? Never offer them food, burn paper money for them to spend? And help to pollute the earth with smoke, ashes and maybe indirectly feeding the birds. Ok, I am whining already. I am sick. My mucus is flowing out.

Sunday Times

Busy with work lately. Life couldn't be better. Maybe I'm still in the honeymoon period about my job. I realised that I have to get in touch with myself sometimes. Solitary gives you the time to quieten down and listen. Listen to yourself. Work is already time consuming. Friends 'share' your time in happiness, or sadness or whatever. Interacting can be tiring too. Voicing out on different opinions and views on whatever issues. Conflicts come along and there is more to solve. I dun like you, you dun like me, I dun like how she handle things, She thinks you are difficult, and the list goes on. The only thing that you can come to terms with easily is yourself.

**Maybe there are tonnes of issues, but in the end, you are still you. Will you take the person as it is?
I may be far, but that doesnt mean I dun care.

Singaporean

I wonder how patriotic we can get or are we just happy because its national day= public holiday? who really cares? Or just because there is fireworks? With tens of thousands dollars wasted, why no one complain? gone with the wind in like 15 mins? why no one write to forum? why ar? NKF saga got pple complain. Pple willing to donate, then when they know the money was misused, they complain. But when they got taxed because they earn too much, why they dun complain? The NKF director salary so high, the pple complain. The Prime minister salary higher than the director, why they dun complain? Now they want to ask the volunteers difficult questions like how many percent goes to charity, why they must donate. If you dun donate, then SHUT UP! You donate the most a dollar into the tin. How about thinking the food or those few grains of rice you can't eat finish and the green tea you can't drink because too full? Isn't it equivalant? I will be embarrassed if i were to ask how many percent goes to charity when i put in my 20¢ in.

Mankind is usually good, its the mouth thats evil.

Self-opinionated

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I totally agree on that. But if the opinion jeopardise the relationship, i would rather keep my mouth shut. I have alot of opinions too. I have a lot of things to say, but there isn't any point talking about it since everything is the way it is. I would have said i dun enjoy so and so's company, what would that make me? A princess? Who do I think I am? Everybody hates everybody. That is why there are so many things to talk about. I rather not talk about it since its my own bunch of friends. You have your own opinion, I have mine. Lets keep it this way. If you wanna make known, I wouldn't mind sharing mine, which I think won't be necessary. Maybe i should stop talking.

Wedneday-OYSTER nite

Went Fish tails to have our oyster buffet. Too bad my cam is not with me.. It went to Thailand and is not back yet. I had 13 of them.. Still not enuff. hehe.. auntie uncle, want to buy oyster, 1 for 1 dollar.. The service sucked though.. Please choose to sit outside if you have a choice.

**Once upon a time...
Love
Trust
Passion
Understanding
Accomodating
Respect
Hard work
**And they lived happily ever after..
Thats a fairy tale cut short. I suppose you can make one fairy tale work if you want to. Meow.

Greatest Regret of this time...

I want to complain! Working as if there is no day and night, the shifts sucked. working till 1130pm at night and then have to go back to work again at 0630am.. for a week! There is an ultimate shift: 0730am-1030pm.. And there is only one break and its only 1/2hr the most!! I was thinking if the money is good, i will grit my teeth and do it, but i was conned!! The operation manager told me the O.T pay is 10 bucks per hour, but it turns out, its only x1.5 of your hourly rate. DAMN! my colleagues said its only 6 dollars. And wats more, our manager doesnt appreciate us at all! She compared us to factory workers and even said we should be grateful the company is paying us O.T. We are in the SERVICE line and are required to work long hours. Not like working in office, having 5 day work week. She even dared us to go M.O.M to check out because in service line, they are not required to pay O.T. She said the first half hour will not be counted as O.T. So its as good as my 1/2 hour break has already returned to them!! She even dared to say the company is good, my foot! Good to her, i think! To think she is married with kids! Damn pissed! i dunno why they can stay there.. i asked some of my colleagues and they dun even know what she was trying to get across from the meeting. Are they dumb? The big boss always come and visit and he will complain how lousy we are. We are humans, not robots, not dogs. Some might say: haiya, work is like that, blah, blah.. i refuse to continue to be like that! Even my mum said the company eat people. ha. not eat people, its eating peoples money. PUI! They were asking me if any of my friends wanna work. Anyone? I've listed out the 'benefits' of this company. Because of all those lies, i rejected a 5 day week job, offering me 1.4 salary.. ARGH!!

Yoga?

Am working at a yoga center now in town.. i have unlimited lessons to learn them. Although working 6 day week and having shift work is not exactly what i wanted but i made good colleagues. Wonder if i can handle that. Anyone interested in yoga can come down and have a look as well as visit me. heh.. =)

When you are fat, you say you wanna lose weight,
when you are thin, you say should get fatter,
when you are tanned, you say you should be fairer,
when you are fair, you say you wanna get tanner,
when you are poor, you say how i wish i can become rich
when you are rich, you say how i wish i can experience life
what more you want???????
ROAR!


Yoga anyone?

i wish my partner is blind
so that i can be beautiful in his mind
but if he finds someone else,
i know he has found another beautiful soul in this life.

Promise Fulfilled

After being late for 3 years, i finally went for my virgin blood donation.. That was my 21st birthday wish.. Always tot i was anaemic because i get dizzy spells occasionally, but everything went well. I was very excited about it, more excited than getting a tattoo done..ha. Still remembered i fainted once when i cut my last finger. Such a big person being frightened by the sight of blood and yet went for donation.. As much as i wanted to see the whole process being carried out, having the injection to numb the area, and then to insert a thick needle, maybe the size of the cotton bud poked in for the transfusion, i decided to look away until everything is was done. Had to press the stress ball to circulate the blood from flowing.. I was happy. Although the hand was abit weak.. now the hand feels like muscle aching..Still, i dared not see how the nurse got rid of the needle in me. It was a very good experience. Too bad the camera is not with me.. if not, i would have uploaded the bloody act.heh..

Pet Frantic

Well, i woke up with a destination in mind with a friend, my dear friend cub. We saw a poster at a bus stop. Advertisements do wonders. SPCA poster. And off we went. Saw a labrador i liked. Name: Captain. He cannot be kept in HDB cos he's big. He was very friendly and he let me touch him too.. Guess he needs some love. So I told him" As much i wanna take you, i have to move in to private property.. If you are willing, lets wait for this wed and see what happens..." Wed lottery..
After that, we went to the notorious pet farm at Lor Halus.. We alighted at farm 2. Walked to farm 3..Saw dogs, cats and fish. Learnt quite a number of things on salt water fish and aquariums.. I believed we walked more than 3km. We were lost. We walked to what seems to be a main road where there are there are trucks passing thru and fro. When we finally got to that road, it was like another world.. as what cub said. The road was hardly visible as it was covered in dust.. there were only trucks that carried sand and stones. Hitch a ride? I wouldnt dare, let alone walk from that road. God knows how much mud bath we will be in.. i will need a pair of goggles. So we walked back again. I was hungry, thirsty and my legs are acheing.. Finally when we walked towards one of the fish farm, one taxi drove in. We were lucky. He picked us up and went to buy his frogs for his fish. He said he was lucky to pick us up. We were finally out of that place.. able to enjoy the air-con and catch our breath but the cab driver was talkative, talking about how difficult it is to get customers, how he would have to pick up cans on the road because of the difficult time he will face when the new mrt line is up, yakety yak... went to changi for dinner after that. After dinner, we went for movies at tampines mall.. Monster-in-law.. Good movie for digestion. What an excursion. But i kinda like it although my legs are still acheing..

Durian Tots

Fancy having durians at 2am in the morning. They were particularly delicious. Ate 9 pieces of them. Wonder why i ate so much.. Maybe its becoz of the timimg..heh.. Was playing solitaire and enjoying the fruit when i was thinking about dating. How dates are getting mundane and boring. Imagine if I were to ask someone out, its either movies, concerts, dinners, or maybe clubbing. Do people still go to parks, walk by the beaches, the old fashion-way? Maybe if i have the transport around. what about something different? I would love to go to camps, visit some of the islands, or maybe bungee-jumping for a change. Maybe my life is mundane and boring already. But then again, its the person that makes the difference. If the feeling is mutual, you will still enjoy it becoz you are with the person you like. Right? Wanna have a date with me? keke..

L.A.Z.Y

I've eaten some lazy pills. Or is it my lazy bones are creeping up on me.

Late nite

Lightning strikes.
We were outside.
We screamed.
Waiting for the last bus to our destination.
Destination which i dunno where.
Destination where i can have my oysters.
Having gone thru such adventurous disaster.
It was fun.
It was my virgin torrential rain outing.
With the umbrella in pink.

Judgemental

Faults are judged.
You are the jury to everything else.
See not only superficial.
Feel not with your hands.
Then you will see you and me are the same.
Fallen.

Sin

7 Deadly sins:
*Lust
*Envy
*Greed
*Sloth
*Wrath
*Pride
*Gluttony

If everyone is free of all these, the person would be perfect. Who is perfect?

**You can never know how important you are to someone's life until someone tells you so.. You are important. You are responsible to someone's anger, disappointment, sadness and even happiness. Your presence. How powerful.

i am feeling lousy. I am lousy becoz i dun feel important and i feel small. Its been a lousy week and i am feeling lousy. I've almost talked to everyone i can get my hands on and they know how shitty i am. i am whining and whining about it. Its the interview that made me feel this way. I have basically nothing. No qualifications and no qualities. I have been sick for the past 1 month and my ears and nose are blocked. How sickening. To everyone: thanks for being there.

Dangerously in love

I love you, I love you, I love you...

Baby, I love you, you are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete if you weren't by my side
You're my relation and connection to the sun
With you next to me, there's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrops, I am the seed
With you and God who's my sunlight I'm blooming, grown so beautifully
Baby I'm so proud, proud to be your girl
You make the confusion go all away from this cold and misty world

I am in love with you (in love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (in love)
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me

I am in love with you (in love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (in love)
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me

And I know you love me, love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am, baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy, easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication from you to me
Later on in my destiny I see myself having your child
I see myself being your wife and I see my whole future in your eyes
The thought of all my love for you, sometimes makes me wanna cry
Realize all of my blessings, I'm grateful to have you by my side

I am in love with you (in love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (in love)
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me

Every time I see your face, my heart smiles
Every time it feels so good, it hurts sometimes
Created in this world to love, to hold, to feel, to breathe
To live you
Dangerously in love, yeah

I am in love with you (in love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (in love)
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me

Dangerously (dangerously)
Dangerous, dangerously in love with you
Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
I love you, oh yes [repeat]

Attention Seeker.

How can i be an extreme when i haven't been over the edge? Psychologists always term patients behaviour as a sign of illness that has to be cured. I think its all bullshit. Just becoz they dun wanna spend some time on listening to them, they are quick enuff to label them as sick. Who in the god damn world has the rite to judge them? we can only think that they are just one of the kind. Some can be irritating in our lives and towards our emotions. They just couldnt think straight thats all. Maybe they haven't been thru shit, or maybe they have, thats why they are behaving like that. I could be commiting suicide and yet not die just becoz i need some attention. I can be yelling top of my lungs and yet no one is listening. after all, they just need somebody. everyone does. They just wanna get known, in another way. Pay attention. They need some love although some are indeed loved by others already. I pay respect to those who have committed suicide and indeed died cos they made it. My suggestion: If you really wanna die, do it. Jump. Dun let pple talk you out of it. It defeats the purpose. Taking pills doesnt work cos there mite be a possibility you mite get saved. If you can do it, i salute you cos i am still plucking up my courage to end it although life seems worthless sometimes. they are not crazy, you are not a psychologist.

i seriously think that i havent been blogging abt much abt myself.. abt small little details over slightest thing that get on my nerves. so i guess thats emo blog coz when i am overwhelm by things then i start to write. So here i am complaining abt things that has passed thru in my life, and still i havent died. Weeks have passed and i went to punggol, one of my friends place one weekend. She's married and i am sorry that i din go to her wedding coz i was having a quarrel with someone at that time. Watched her wedding vcd and it was so heartwarming.. Talk abt love.. they have been together for 10 years on and off and finally married. Had a baby girl and she is the most beautiful thing i ever seen.. The song that i am playing on my blog is her wedding song.. i felt vulnerable, to be in love and yet she did it. I saw her life on it. The difficulties she been thru, her failed relationships she had previously did leave scars, yet she drew her strength and persisted to see her life in different way, that she become strong, stronger than me, stronger than anyone becoz of what she been thru. She's courageous to give her life to the person she love, in return, love her dearly. I admired her endurance, her courage, her persistance and her way she see her life which makes me very small. very insignificant. I need to get moving to the next chapter of my life..

**Eruptions of anger boils up to the head and spew out from the mouth. how to stop a volcano from erupting?

My sunset at sentosa.

i am having flu!!!!!

spongebob!

You're spongebob, eveyone's favorite sponge! You
love you job and couldn't pass your driving
test if your life depended on it

What Spongebob Character are you?? (new pictures)
brought to you by

You made me laff like mad. We were in the NEL line. Thanks, auntie. You asked cub to SHH!!! haha.. Why dun you use chopstix and make yourself deaf? haha.. Anyone who sit opp you talking either on the phone or chatting with someone, you will surely SHHH!! that person. Luckily you havent hear me roar..

~~Failed my stage 2 practical. Changing of gear.. I think i did quite well. Must be the 2 girls who kept stalling the engines made me nervous.. Damn, better luck next time.

Anyone kind enough to donate a pair of tix for me to watch Avril?

Beware of pickpockets when your pants are down?

Another busy week although am not working anymore.. went to first practical last thursday. Damn it was difficult. Thought i was going to fail. Luckily the instructor said they dun usually fail pple unless they dunno how to cycle. Phew. Going for the next stage tmr. I am going to be nervous again.Went for the RTT on sat as well. Took the same book and do. If still fail, i dunno wat to say. Went to watch The Eye 10. We laughed like nobodys business. Its a horror show, for goodness sake. Stayed up till morning then sleep. Call me mtv freak.ha. Cub said if my house have SCV, it will explode. heh. And now i cant sleep... cos i just woke up.. i dun wanna be ghost again... tmr will be a tiring day..

I feel unsafe doing blogger now. Although its free, they are doing upgrading and i am afraid all my posts will get erased...

I am officially out of job when i left transitlink last wednesday. I received a sms from my officer yesterday saying HR A.M had passed away. I was chatting with him when i left the company. He was well. He is just 36. He is not obese. He dun smoke. He dun drink. He have a wife. He have a 3 year old daughter. He lived life positively. He continued learning and upgrading himself for his knowledge. He is a good man, with a kind heart. I was thinking of writing my own obituary when this news came. I was shocked. How can such person leave this world so early? Couldnt it be those who drink, those who smoked, those who see life not worth living, those like me? He who can spend a lil time talking to me. He said " You are still young, some of the things you havent see and think properly. Learning is a never ending process." I learnt that life, is taken away from you when you learn to appreciate it, when you think you shouldnt leave yet and when you embrace it with full of hope. He left. Not from accident. From lung and heart failure.

Give me a title!

Someone said my blog is full of sadness and unhappy things. She said i shud write about something happy. Something that can make you smile. I guess thats when i fall in love. ha. Who doesnt want a fairytale? I cant afford it and I cant find it either. This is life. Its harsh. Its difficult. OR should I dream that I can marry off someone rich and hope that I can be a tai tai soon? Thats crap. Thats for people who think life is suppose to be easy. What does it take to have ones opinion of everything and let them see what you are seeing? What makes it so difficult? Are they so self centered that they couldnt be bothered of what you are getting across cos they are full of themselves? Or because they have their mind of their own that they cant accept other perceptions?

At work!!

Yeh!! I am at office doing my blog cos officer is not around and the new girl is taking over my place.=D I have never feel so relieved.. took my RTT yesterday. No confidence..... hope it goes well.. I have almost being free.. Just recovered from fever.. was sleeping at toa payoh alone when i felt so damn cold. Rushed back home in the middle of the nite to see doctor. Shivering like nobody's business. Damn. Wonder if its dengue coming to see me cos i got bites from mosqitoes in my room. Sprayed shieldtox all over this morning when i came to work. Mum's birthday is coming up.. having buffet at toa payoh on the 13th. I realised there alot of photos that i have yet to d/l and am learning to do some layout on my page and songs too.. so many things.. but i am glad i am learning something. =)
I missed the roadtrips i had
I missed the long bus journey where i can think about things
I missed seeing stars at the dark skies
I missed drinking air limau
I think i missed KL
Hint??

**The only way to stop people from talking is to stop talking yourself too.

OUTRAGEOUS!

annoyed

i am so fucking tired of telling you what to do and how to live cos you dun seem to know and understand why are you here for how pathetic and sad can you be if u cant seem to get a life and enjoy it cos after all its yours and not mine

i can only feel sorry for you and hope that one day you can see what life is really all about

SHUTUPANDGETMOVINGALREADY!!!

Sometimes we forget, what are we living for
The goals we had,the dreams we shared
Times passed, we were all grown up
Doing things we dunno what we are doing
Just for the sake of living
The dreams we had seemed to be so cold
As we slowly getting old
Limitations that we all had
Responsibilities we have to bear
Life, can we truly live,
Or just life, entangle us that we can't breathe?

How i wish i could just walk away from all these and start all over again, doing things that i want, saying things i shud shuden say. Thats what the rich do. Thats what i called life, but then again, it would be too easy for me. I just wanna be rich. Who dun want to? But thats how life works. Its never easy. Thats where life mould people to be strong, to be tough and most of all, to know how weak you really are.
Run away. Do something. *ROAR*