~party~?

Today is sunday and i din go to church.. went mad monks on friday and now my bones are acheing all over still... everybody seem to change and i cant even recognise anyone there.. where have everyone gone to? its just been like 6 months and everything is so different now.. I din wanna go down in the first place but i really need a place that i am comfortable and plays loud music... maybe im out of the scene already.. i dunno... really feel like going out today but there is really no one else i call to... wat is happening to me? its just crap.. thinking abt identity recently i cant handle it. feel like calling someone but i am trying to refrain from doing it... life seems stale now.. its all abt work and i am not liking it now... maybe i will just call whoever that comes to my mind and see wat happens next.. this is really giving me a headache.. i need to get out, but where can i go? this is shit. am i living a double life? i am just contradicting.. can anyone just gimme some answers?