Swing way low till it hits the rocks.

My mood these days are like fuck
Maybe its the stress
Maybe its the work
Maybe its people saying you are incompetent
Maybe its the menses coming
Whatever it is, I HATE IT!

I miss taking pictures

I miss having fun

I miss going crazy

I miss my cheerful self

Maybe I just miss you

I am getting too sane
I lost interest in myself.
You
interest me.

**What is life without faith?
Disappointment?
Because you know how the world really is.
You know how people fail you.
You know how alone you are.
You know eveything is just a passing phase.
You know nothing is forever.
Above all, you know you have faith,
nothing really matters.

Monday

The flu bug has caught me. And it is fierce. I've been infect for about a week and yesterday nite the fever virus paid me a visit as well. I'm weak. WEAK! No matter how loud I am, I cant scare them away! Damn! Its the seventh month. Seventh Month. Maybe because I didn't pay respects to the dead? Never offer them food, burn paper money for them to spend? And help to pollute the earth with smoke, ashes and maybe indirectly feeding the birds. Ok, I am whining already. I am sick. My mucus is flowing out.

Sunday Times

Busy with work lately. Life couldn't be better. Maybe I'm still in the honeymoon period about my job. I realised that I have to get in touch with myself sometimes. Solitary gives you the time to quieten down and listen. Listen to yourself. Work is already time consuming. Friends 'share' your time in happiness, or sadness or whatever. Interacting can be tiring too. Voicing out on different opinions and views on whatever issues. Conflicts come along and there is more to solve. I dun like you, you dun like me, I dun like how she handle things, She thinks you are difficult, and the list goes on. The only thing that you can come to terms with easily is yourself.

**Maybe there are tonnes of issues, but in the end, you are still you. Will you take the person as it is?
I may be far, but that doesnt mean I dun care.

Singaporean

I wonder how patriotic we can get or are we just happy because its national day= public holiday? who really cares? Or just because there is fireworks? With tens of thousands dollars wasted, why no one complain? gone with the wind in like 15 mins? why no one write to forum? why ar? NKF saga got pple complain. Pple willing to donate, then when they know the money was misused, they complain. But when they got taxed because they earn too much, why they dun complain? The NKF director salary so high, the pple complain. The Prime minister salary higher than the director, why they dun complain? Now they want to ask the volunteers difficult questions like how many percent goes to charity, why they must donate. If you dun donate, then SHUT UP! You donate the most a dollar into the tin. How about thinking the food or those few grains of rice you can't eat finish and the green tea you can't drink because too full? Isn't it equivalant? I will be embarrassed if i were to ask how many percent goes to charity when i put in my 20¢ in.

Mankind is usually good, its the mouth thats evil.

Self-opinionated

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I totally agree on that. But if the opinion jeopardise the relationship, i would rather keep my mouth shut. I have alot of opinions too. I have a lot of things to say, but there isn't any point talking about it since everything is the way it is. I would have said i dun enjoy so and so's company, what would that make me? A princess? Who do I think I am? Everybody hates everybody. That is why there are so many things to talk about. I rather not talk about it since its my own bunch of friends. You have your own opinion, I have mine. Lets keep it this way. If you wanna make known, I wouldn't mind sharing mine, which I think won't be necessary. Maybe i should stop talking.

Wedneday-OYSTER nite

Went Fish tails to have our oyster buffet. Too bad my cam is not with me.. It went to Thailand and is not back yet. I had 13 of them.. Still not enuff. hehe.. auntie uncle, want to buy oyster, 1 for 1 dollar.. The service sucked though.. Please choose to sit outside if you have a choice.

**Once upon a time...
Love
Trust
Passion
Understanding
Accomodating
Respect
Hard work
**And they lived happily ever after..
Thats a fairy tale cut short. I suppose you can make one fairy tale work if you want to. Meow.

Greatest Regret of this time...

I want to complain! Working as if there is no day and night, the shifts sucked. working till 1130pm at night and then have to go back to work again at 0630am.. for a week! There is an ultimate shift: 0730am-1030pm.. And there is only one break and its only 1/2hr the most!! I was thinking if the money is good, i will grit my teeth and do it, but i was conned!! The operation manager told me the O.T pay is 10 bucks per hour, but it turns out, its only x1.5 of your hourly rate. DAMN! my colleagues said its only 6 dollars. And wats more, our manager doesnt appreciate us at all! She compared us to factory workers and even said we should be grateful the company is paying us O.T. We are in the SERVICE line and are required to work long hours. Not like working in office, having 5 day work week. She even dared us to go M.O.M to check out because in service line, they are not required to pay O.T. She said the first half hour will not be counted as O.T. So its as good as my 1/2 hour break has already returned to them!! She even dared to say the company is good, my foot! Good to her, i think! To think she is married with kids! Damn pissed! i dunno why they can stay there.. i asked some of my colleagues and they dun even know what she was trying to get across from the meeting. Are they dumb? The big boss always come and visit and he will complain how lousy we are. We are humans, not robots, not dogs. Some might say: haiya, work is like that, blah, blah.. i refuse to continue to be like that! Even my mum said the company eat people. ha. not eat people, its eating peoples money. PUI! They were asking me if any of my friends wanna work. Anyone? I've listed out the 'benefits' of this company. Because of all those lies, i rejected a 5 day week job, offering me 1.4 salary.. ARGH!!

Yoga?

Am working at a yoga center now in town.. i have unlimited lessons to learn them. Although working 6 day week and having shift work is not exactly what i wanted but i made good colleagues. Wonder if i can handle that. Anyone interested in yoga can come down and have a look as well as visit me. heh.. =)

When you are fat, you say you wanna lose weight,
when you are thin, you say should get fatter,
when you are tanned, you say you should be fairer,
when you are fair, you say you wanna get tanner,
when you are poor, you say how i wish i can become rich
when you are rich, you say how i wish i can experience life
what more you want???????
ROAR!


Yoga anyone?

i wish my partner is blind
so that i can be beautiful in his mind
but if he finds someone else,
i know he has found another beautiful soul in this life.

Promise Fulfilled

After being late for 3 years, i finally went for my virgin blood donation.. That was my 21st birthday wish.. Always tot i was anaemic because i get dizzy spells occasionally, but everything went well. I was very excited about it, more excited than getting a tattoo done..ha. Still remembered i fainted once when i cut my last finger. Such a big person being frightened by the sight of blood and yet went for donation.. As much as i wanted to see the whole process being carried out, having the injection to numb the area, and then to insert a thick needle, maybe the size of the cotton bud poked in for the transfusion, i decided to look away until everything is was done. Had to press the stress ball to circulate the blood from flowing.. I was happy. Although the hand was abit weak.. now the hand feels like muscle aching..Still, i dared not see how the nurse got rid of the needle in me. It was a very good experience. Too bad the camera is not with me.. if not, i would have uploaded the bloody act.heh..

Pet Frantic

Well, i woke up with a destination in mind with a friend, my dear friend cub. We saw a poster at a bus stop. Advertisements do wonders. SPCA poster. And off we went. Saw a labrador i liked. Name: Captain. He cannot be kept in HDB cos he's big. He was very friendly and he let me touch him too.. Guess he needs some love. So I told him" As much i wanna take you, i have to move in to private property.. If you are willing, lets wait for this wed and see what happens..." Wed lottery..
After that, we went to the notorious pet farm at Lor Halus.. We alighted at farm 2. Walked to farm 3..Saw dogs, cats and fish. Learnt quite a number of things on salt water fish and aquariums.. I believed we walked more than 3km. We were lost. We walked to what seems to be a main road where there are there are trucks passing thru and fro. When we finally got to that road, it was like another world.. as what cub said. The road was hardly visible as it was covered in dust.. there were only trucks that carried sand and stones. Hitch a ride? I wouldnt dare, let alone walk from that road. God knows how much mud bath we will be in.. i will need a pair of goggles. So we walked back again. I was hungry, thirsty and my legs are acheing.. Finally when we walked towards one of the fish farm, one taxi drove in. We were lucky. He picked us up and went to buy his frogs for his fish. He said he was lucky to pick us up. We were finally out of that place.. able to enjoy the air-con and catch our breath but the cab driver was talkative, talking about how difficult it is to get customers, how he would have to pick up cans on the road because of the difficult time he will face when the new mrt line is up, yakety yak... went to changi for dinner after that. After dinner, we went for movies at tampines mall.. Monster-in-law.. Good movie for digestion. What an excursion. But i kinda like it although my legs are still acheing..

Durian Tots

Fancy having durians at 2am in the morning. They were particularly delicious. Ate 9 pieces of them. Wonder why i ate so much.. Maybe its becoz of the timimg..heh.. Was playing solitaire and enjoying the fruit when i was thinking about dating. How dates are getting mundane and boring. Imagine if I were to ask someone out, its either movies, concerts, dinners, or maybe clubbing. Do people still go to parks, walk by the beaches, the old fashion-way? Maybe if i have the transport around. what about something different? I would love to go to camps, visit some of the islands, or maybe bungee-jumping for a change. Maybe my life is mundane and boring already. But then again, its the person that makes the difference. If the feeling is mutual, you will still enjoy it becoz you are with the person you like. Right? Wanna have a date with me? keke..

L.A.Z.Y

I've eaten some lazy pills. Or is it my lazy bones are creeping up on me.

Late nite

Lightning strikes.
We were outside.
We screamed.
Waiting for the last bus to our destination.
Destination which i dunno where.
Destination where i can have my oysters.
Having gone thru such adventurous disaster.
It was fun.
It was my virgin torrential rain outing.
With the umbrella in pink.

Judgemental

Faults are judged.
You are the jury to everything else.
See not only superficial.
Feel not with your hands.
Then you will see you and me are the same.
Fallen.

Sin

7 Deadly sins:
*Lust
*Envy
*Greed
*Sloth
*Wrath
*Pride
*Gluttony

If everyone is free of all these, the person would be perfect. Who is perfect?

**You can never know how important you are to someone's life until someone tells you so.. You are important. You are responsible to someone's anger, disappointment, sadness and even happiness. Your presence. How powerful.

i am feeling lousy. I am lousy becoz i dun feel important and i feel small. Its been a lousy week and i am feeling lousy. I've almost talked to everyone i can get my hands on and they know how shitty i am. i am whining and whining about it. Its the interview that made me feel this way. I have basically nothing. No qualifications and no qualities. I have been sick for the past 1 month and my ears and nose are blocked. How sickening. To everyone: thanks for being there.

Dangerously in love

I love you, I love you, I love you...

Baby, I love you, you are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete if you weren't by my side
You're my relation and connection to the sun
With you next to me, there's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrops, I am the seed
With you and God who's my sunlight I'm blooming, grown so beautifully
Baby I'm so proud, proud to be your girl
You make the confusion go all away from this cold and misty world

I am in love with you (in love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (in love)
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me

I am in love with you (in love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (in love)
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me

And I know you love me, love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am, baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy, easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication from you to me
Later on in my destiny I see myself having your child
I see myself being your wife and I see my whole future in your eyes
The thought of all my love for you, sometimes makes me wanna cry
Realize all of my blessings, I'm grateful to have you by my side

I am in love with you (in love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (in love)
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me

Every time I see your face, my heart smiles
Every time it feels so good, it hurts sometimes
Created in this world to love, to hold, to feel, to breathe
To live you
Dangerously in love, yeah

I am in love with you (in love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (in love)
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me

Dangerously (dangerously)
Dangerous, dangerously in love with you
Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
I love you, oh yes [repeat]