Why do people always think they are right when they are wrong?

I seriously think its just another pretty face. What is more to it? I cant tolerate fititious attitudes that make me wanna puke.

Christmas frenZy at Ray's.

1.Waiting to go to Ray's place.. 2.Changing presents.




Ok, its empty.. poh pee tee gong. But some of them are getting filled up..=D

>
and the madness slowly begins..




How about birds? Jailbird or love birds?

wiSdom ExtRactioN

24th Dec 2004
Extracted my left upper wisdom tooth today. It corroded and i decided to take it out. What a nice gift. My left knee is bandaged up as well cos i went to fix it. Looks like i'm half paralysed from the left. Thank God my left arm is working. =D

I was thinking the definition of 'Friends' when a theory came up. Friends are like precious stones. You take care of it. Polish it, admire it. Make sure they are nice and you actually enjoy doing wat you did. They are your prized possesion. But one day, one of the stone got a crack on it. Saddening. You had made sure nothing happened to ur stones. You had taken good care of it but it just happened. You dunno why and wat is wrong. The more you see it, the more your heart broke. So you put it one side and decide not to take a second look on it. The stone just sat there, once were ur prized possesion. Friends.

Yes, i'm at home spending my 'Silent Night'. Surprisingly, dad is out for a mahjong session. I cant stand the crowd anymore. Maybe i'm just old. Thinking of the hassle of going home with tons of pple and not having a single vacant cab makes my mind tired. Clubbing.. Maybe, with my blood, still oozing out from the gum and a bandaged knee. Sounds like i'm asking for donation. Ha.


Human jam at Wisma/Taka 3 days before christmas.


That's the only uncle who is not rushing.

ChriStmas!

1. Digital cam-checked
2. Fix my knee-checked
3.Ensure ERS in my account-checked
4. Get a new system- Processing
5. MP3 Player-Still thinking
6. Celebrating it-It doesn't matter cos its the same every year
7.Going bankrupt-Priceless

Gulping down cough syrup and spend my christmas in dreamland. That's something new.
Maybe give a lil thanks to God. He is more true than us. Less complicating and not quarrelsome.

Let's talk about sex, baby.

Well, its not about sex. My buddy at work is asking me why haven't i been blogging, as in writing about stuff.. Guess there are so many things that happened that i dun feel like getting it down on my piece of memory. I've only got like 16MB of storage, my dear. I have to be picky. Well, life isn't sweet and dainty but i definitely can choose to fill it up with junk or not. Taking up my space equates wasting my time. Thought pictures says a thousand words.. She wants a piece of me.. So here goes my whining about the world, about pple and most of all, i remembered she like my journal on TREES.The big event today:Miss Plastic has forgotten to include my bonus in my payslip today. I am suppose to blow my top and show her my brains, but there is really nothing i can do. The worst is that she mite say" Oh, I will put the bonus in on ur next month's pay then." Cruel. There goes my christmas. Well, thats life. Anywayz, work will be piling up soon coz our octopus has left the dept. Buddy will become mad and i will become grouchy. We will have communication error and no reponse from reader and eventually IFCC will become red. Until how long, nobody knows. Let's talk about something else, shall we? Sometimes, i dun wish to go out anymore.. things have changed, pple changed, everything changed. I haven't change. Have you?
When you look back the years, u realised that how you wished time could turn back, but the fact is if you have did wat you did and felt happy about it, would you not be happy that time had passed and is looking forward to more things to accomplish? Why waste time regretting and wanting to start all over again? How true is that. I finished Tuesdays with Morrie. I want to keep that book. I'm tired.

PiCtuRes

>sOuLs<

You Are a Retrospective Soul

The most misunderstood of all the soul signs. Sometimes you even have difficulty seeing yourself as who you are. You are intense and desire perfection in every facet of your life. You're best described as extremely idealistic, hardworking, and a survivor. Great moments of insight and sensitivity come to you easily. But if you aren't careful, you'll ignore these moments and repeat past mistakes. For you, it is difficult to seperate the past from the present. You will suceed once you overcome the disappoinments in life. Souls you are most compatible with: Traveler Soul and Prophet Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

JinXed wEEkenD

I am so jinxed by i dunno what and i am so gonna talk about it.. Firstly, my blogger died on me... it just blackouted. And another thing is that i can't sign in Fridae.. Wat is this world becoming to? I'm so waiting for someone to save me. Bloody hell.

[Saved!]
i am here to save your day~ haha. and i nida drop a few words (kpo). u'r not so jinxed after all ya? ;p ok lah just wanna tell you i emailed you a "blog.txt" notepad format for you to keep. so whenever you face codes problem again, just copy and paste the whole junk of code into your template. so that is suppose to be your backup copy. ok love ya take care *hugs* haah.. ciao~
[signing of undefine]

CybErshoP/iSlanDwiDe

Got my islandwide digital cam already.. My latest toy. haha.. Gonna bring her out tmr.. anyone wanna meet me up?? *gRinZ*

iNteLLigenCe

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Here cOmes tHe pHotos!!

Drink, drink, drink..




One satisfied drunkard..=Þ

ZoukOuT!

Basically had fun with some minor hiccups.. Went to my place for drinking and to think they wanted to finish up the whole full bottle of Vodka Blackcurrant??? Madness.. went there about 1am.. Groove non-stop till 7am.Was telling missy undefine i suspect we will be fully paralysed when we wake up.. heh!! Stoopid.. Non-stop mega hits..keke.. Not to speak we arrived with 2 drunkards. It always happen. Then suddenly there is this hyper-active kid that comes alive..*headache* Well, there is also some news that shock us. But only on occasions. Clubbing occasions? Can't wait for photos, yah? *Wink* And Juice Magazine!!! The thought of the "toa payoh" out makes me smile.. =D Christmas?

You Are a Social Blogger!

Your blog is more of a semi-private affair for your friends. It's how you keep in touch... sharing stories, jokes, and pics.

What kind of blogger are you?

Excerpts from a book that I'm reading..

**Fearing the pain involved, almost all of us, to a greater or lesser degree or lesser degree, attempt to avoid problems. We procrastinate, hoping that they will go away. We ignore them, forget them, pretend they dun exist. We attempt to get out of them rather than suffer thru them. This tendency to avoid problems and the emotional suffering inherent in them is the primary basis of all human mental illness.

**We are unique. Its good that we are all different, even if it does lead to conflict, because maturely handled differences can give us a clearer sense of our own individuality and a greater appreciation for how different human beings really are.

How easily it was written and how difficult it is to do it...

~tRanSporTed

We are being transported to a cemetery. A new cemetery. The tombstones are neat, grass are healthy and the air is still stale. Its a private cemetery, baby. It can only be accessed to the tenants. We are staying there for good. There wont be any more shouting, afraid of waking the dead. We are dead anyway. The only thing is that it is so freaking quiet that i am afraid i will start to hear voices in my head and losing my precious mind. How professional to be dead nowadays. No more scaring of people but going off in peace..How sad... (My new office) No music, No life.

How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel

So wat if you know the truth?
So wat if you are ignorant?
So wat your perception change?
So wat i see you differently?
It doesn't change anything.
It doesn't help.
It already happened.
It cannot change.

I can go on for days..
Its my space, rite?

^anger-Management

Dun bother explaining if you think you are rite.
watever you say to me is wrong.
Someone is hurt. Someone that is closest to my heart.
Can you not feel it? Or are you not human?
Am i suppose to be sorry if i'm fucking pissed?
It doesn't matter. Its OK. Get over it. Life goes on.
It will soon be over. Shit happens.
I am learning to be happy about it too. Ha.
Let it go. Life is such a breeze, ain't it?
Mistakes are to be made and forgiven.
Will it be forgotten? Maybe that's where you are made to be remembered

The thought of you makes me very sick!The thought of you makes me very sick! The thought of you makes me very sick!The thought of you makes me very sick!The thought of you makes me very sick!The thought of you makes me very sick!The thought of you makes me very sick!The thought of you makes me very sick! Shut the FUCK UP! I AM VERY PISSED! i know the things that i dun want to know. Wat good does it get? it doesn't fucking get me anywhere! It doesn't fucking matter. You are fucking getting on my nerves! Why don't you get fucking messed up sumwhere? You are getting people very upset. You know it, don't you? It doesn't really fucking matter. That's it. Everyone seems to know it and it really doesn't matter. Who the fuck are we anyway? Why must your happiness be someone else's misery? Think about it.

bUsy tHinkiNg*

I try to live my life my way, i try to be better as it is. i try to think why are we here, to fulfill our dreams, to do the things we want or to do things that people want? Circumstances that change us. There are so many routes to take, even its dead end, you have to find a bloody way out. Did i say bloody? Halloween? ok, Its even harder than i think. i wanna give up. But life goes on. There's still things to do. I nearly fell from the stairs when i suddenly blackouted. Flashbacks came. What if i was paralysed? Who wud bother? Its a burden that no one wants to carry. Shoulders are heavy. i need to breathe. i need to get out of here. Will i able to hold on till that day? Maybe i will be understanding towards life, as it is the way it is. No one talks abt anything anymore cos it doesn't help. Prozac PLEASE!! my illness is acting up again.

HapPy*

Happy. You should be happy.
Why think of all those things that makes you sad? Its not good for health.
Everybody has their own problems but you should have fun, be happy abt your life. Yah, so you throw all the unhappiness one side, enjoy the times together with whoever cos they are happy and then you forget the issues you have cos there wont be a solution.. maybe not that fast. maybe not at all.
Not every freaking problem has a solution, rite? your problem woulden be that great to keep pple listening.
Suddenly, someone asked you abt the issue that you have been trying to ignore. You dunno how.
Once you were so concerned, so troubled, because of the issue you had. Surfacing, you broke down cos you knew that it doesnt matter anymore.
Nobody is just there for you anymore. Dependant, yes. Regretted, yes.
The next thing is: So? Wat diff does it make? You are still wanting to be happy. You are still trying to ignore cos you know everything has already long been this way.

HapPy hALLowEeN!!

God save our souls.



**2 nerds were brutally beaten by ah bengs on the way to school.
**The girl that broke her arm while saving them.
**Black eyed P wanna-be had a huge car accident. The driver died and she survived.

---

All thanks to her of what we've became.


Evidence by a kind samaritan. Let's get prepared for the next suicide!! =D

Brain^leSs

How much crap can you endure before you shut the person up? Somebody shut me up. Social pressure, that makes the person you are today, ain't it?

Another Rubbish

When you love someone so deeply, it becomes intoxicating. When you hate someone so deeply, your heart breaks easily. There is no choice but to hate in order to forget. The anger and hatred that erases everything. When you think of all those times you were together, they are just memories. He said, when you love, you have to forget yourself and think that there is only one for you.But that is when there are only two of us. There wuden be issues and circumstances to think and to take care of. True love. Tell me about it.
Have you ever thought of something in your mind and dunno what are you thinking about suddenly? Nevermind me.

*Everything changes, but nothing changes.

Titleless

Going to work tmr. Planning a trip this year end. Not aussie. Sumwhere near probably. So many things to do. Wonder if i am able to get it all done.Feeling lousy today. Maybe because i'm home the whole freaking day. Crazy when u are out, time passes by quickly. Wish u had stayed at home and let time pass slowly, but likewise, its boring! In the end, tmr still have to work..*Sigh* Rubbish. Counting down to year end...everyday.. i think my cat is the one enjoying life.. in this household. Learnt how to post pictures already, heh.. So there will be alot of pics coming up. =D

POST CONCEPTUAL PSYCHOLOGY

We know the mind is free. We know the spirit lives in breath and in action. And yes our knowledge is false but at least we make no pretense about it. You will never understand yourself and if you try to do so, it is nothing but a trap and an illusion so SCREW your therapist and probably you both will feel better. There is no truth, there is no knowledge, you will never get these things however how much you pay and anyone who tries to sell you these things is trying to deceive you.There are ghosts and spirits all around you and once we could see them, yes thats rite, once we could talk to them to them and everything and now we cant. So we should all weep because we have all been driven so mad that we have lost contact and it is ALL THEIR FAULT.
It is the pschologists who need treatment and not us. Spike their drinks if you have the chance. The only reason they studied psychology in the first place was because they thought they could find out why they were so crazy themselves without anyone else finding out about it, so dun let them get away with it.If you think it will drive you mad then is is perfectly understandable because you live in a madhouse full of LIES and more LIES. It is not surprising if you go mad yourself, for there is no escape except the escape of freedom. In fact, you would have to be mad not to go mad under the circumstances.

(THINK)

The Dating Game

The Dating Game. There are several couples together. One of the couples broke up and caused a ripple. They will date other people in the group. Some of them will be unfaithful and it will break the chain. Wat the other party do, the circle will know. They reshuffle and got attached all over again. How tiring the whole process will be and how hard it is to be able to date when you get older....







*The complexicity of the brain, no one will understand.

Hangout?

This is my weekend hangout after a night of booze and bullshit..To think i even forget the appointment i made with the HDB personal.. sucky.. Mum caught me.. Made a mess at her place.. Din expect to be back so early.. anyway i have already forgotten all abt it.. Let alone cleaning up. I am starting to play the blame game again... *bleh*

A Picture Paints A Thousand Words.

This is wat i do everyday, Mondays to Fridays.. This is Life. My Life.



Kiasu to board, Kiasee to move in.*ROAR*


Stand behind the yellow line, are you deaf?

FACES ARE NOT TAKEN TO PROTECT THEIR PRIVACY, THEY DUN WANNA BE KNOWN, DO THEY?

Happy birthday!!!!

Walking ciggerettes.fucking drunkards.thats wat we were yesterday night.Happy birthday Peenut. Din know so many people love you.Include me?In case your index finger is hurting.Its me.No doubt about it.Saw alot of things going on in the club's toilet.queues.make up.lipstick.eye brows.nail polish.skirts.boobs.gossip.Mens' toilet please.Its quiet.no queues.no bimbos. thats the difference.

TRIBUTE TO TREES

I have been working in the office for nearly a year and whenever i go for a smoke, i see those trees. The wild trees that grow and wither. Perhaps no one even notice or care, but they carry my thoughts. They listen to my thoughts. I din know they are chopping off those defenseless trees just for the sake of building the bloody circle line. For peoples' sake, for the convenience of our human race. We are indeed moving, upgrading and enhancing our lives with better things. We destroy the things that obstruct our way, to get our better-living lifestyle. Have we forgotten why are we here? To make this place a better place to live in? Arent we good now? Why are we always not satisfied? Why dun they ask the owner who planted the trees there, who owned the world when humans stepped onto this ground, ask him can we do watever we humans are doing now? Arent trees living things? Although they dun bleed, they dun feel but i do.

Sprained chest bones. Breathing difficulty.collecting ants.i hate everything about you.

Thinking~~So in Love.Breakup.Still love one another.But still have to break up.Not compatible.Move on.How?You never try you never know.Why are you attached in the first place?Explain?Will you love again?If yes, then wat is your previous relationship called?Why people can still call it love of their life?Can somebody gimme a bloody definition of love, instead of putting it off to describe" Its a feeling." Am I dead or wat?

Alrite.Someone has already explained on Fridae. That was fast. All thanks to Tazmania.=D

Abandoned site^^

Some of my friends had decided to abandon their blogs... Wonder why they did it in the first place. Makes me think if its a good thing to do. I made a journal of my own too.. The old-fashioned way.. Will it drain me out with my own freaking thoughts? Went Zouk yesterday.. We were at Mox for awhile.. to meet a friend. That place is dead.Maybe when i am 35, i will go there. Still got 12 years to go.. or maybe when i feel like mtv-ing i mite go? eh.. i dun think so... cant smoke, no loud music. I am loud! Bloody Hell. Talking abt zouk, i went with the usual suspects. Skip the refused entry, we managed to get in with the help of the VIP anyway, ha. One more thing, Heineken makes me pee alot but din get me anywhere. I was actually quite sober till the end. Nearly got into a fight. Too bad it din happen. Pisses me off again. So fucking wat if u are drunk? thats ur problem. trying to be friendly again? Get lost. Men! looking at women at a piece of meat. Why dun you go home and learn some manners? or look at your mum instead?Perverts.



*You wun die without someone. You will die without yourself.

**Dude, Where's my head?
**I thought I left it on the toilet seat?
**I think you flushed it down.

Bite my head OFF!!

ANGRY!ANGRY!ANGRY!ANGRY!ANGRY!ANGRY!ANGRY!ANGRY!ANGRY!ANGRY!ANGRY!ANGRY!ANGRY!ANGRY! GET A LIFE AND STOP PISSING PEOPLE OFF! AND ONE MORE THING, MISS I, STOP ACTING FRIENDLY AND WIN VOTES FOR YOURSELF. MISS PLASTIC. DO I EVEN KNOW YOU? STOP WASTING MY TIME, BITCH. ROAR!!!!

~Take me to the shallow water, before i get too deep.
Will i be contented without encountering the dangers that lies beneath?

Are You EviL?

I am 60% evil.

I'm getting there. I haven't done all the damage I could do but I've done quite a bit. I'm just over the border into the Evil Zone.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

Che Guevara

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

You're Element is Light. You are friendly, happy,
social, bubbly, and can brighten up any one's
day. You are very kind and a real people person
because you have several friends (or atleast
should). You're cheery nature makes you lovable
and your stunning looks are sweet and stand
out.

What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday~~

Lets recap wat i've done over the weekend...
** Thursday: Went to have dinner with 6ix at holland V. Had KFC. Guess its not very happening to her cos she asked me do i always come here for KFC? It looks so dead.. Well, the chickens are dead and fried anywayz, kakaka.. Rubbish.. Wonder if she will call me and whine abt wat i write.. No offence, ya? =D
** Friday: Went down town after work to meet grouch. Thanks for the band. Love it. Nicer than the previous one. =) Its still tied on my ankle. Phew.. Went mums place after that.. So scary to stay alone, not to say i never stayed alone before but its different. Felt so empty. Maybe i dun frequent there.. Had nightmare that night.. Sucky.
** Saturday: Went to collect blanket and off to sentosa with grouch. Made the membership there. =) Free entry, woohoo! Guess i'm going there more often.. I like to tan there..dunno why..Mmm.. probably EC is too far for me? After that went BBQ at grouch's place. Only 3 of us. haha. I started the fire alone and i am proud of it.. heh.. The sense of satisfaction is there.. Its only fire wat.. But u never know the story behind it...Long long time ago..I was fuming with fire then..ha.
** Sunday: Slag at home the whole day. Globe actually asked me to kayak but EC.... ahem.. hee.. But i manage to do some chores at home like laundry and cleaning the fan..=) Erm... it actually rainned that day? Luckily i din make the trip..Suppose to meet grouch again for shopping in the evening but i slept it off..So, that's basically it.. Monday, work again.. When will it be December? Counting down...

?QUestion Mark?

Have you ever thought your decision being a yes or no can be critical to another person? i realised if you say no to another person, she may feel disappointed because of ur disapproval and its like ignoring her existance? She may be very happy to let you know that you will be supporting her watever it is.. But on the other hand, if you say yes to it, will she not abuse it? will she not take you for granted? Why dun you make decisions on ur own then? only u are answerable for ur own actions? Will you be able to do it with no strings attach? Will you not have friends around you to feed you with diff perspectives and be confused? Does anyone really stand alone? Really alone?

Love?

Love came, I know it but you dun. It lingers for awhile and it gets stronger cos I know I missed you. I wish it could leave but no, it doesn’t. I dun care if you even know, I just wanna be free from you. maybe its just me. I am so infatuated. Infatuated by you.. will you love me like I do?

Survival on Great 8!

Yes! i finally accomplished something that is absolutely nonsensical and got a cert for it. The time is now 1830hrs and still going strong. Am now still having dinner at Bud's house. Incredible huh? No LCD tv to be won but had a consolation prize though and that is 2 tix for Ballet under the stars..thought i had a family curse cos i din win anything in my entire life. to think that the first name they called was me.. thought it was somebody else when they read the I.D no, it cuden be wrong.. Wondering who will actually go with me...mmm.. and there are like tons of door gifts too.. mostly shampoo, i've got like 3 of them, one mcdonalds The Dog pillow but its in black, erm... spiderman comicbook, trading cards and notebook. My fave door gift will be the free entry pass to sentosa!Woohoo! the movies are basically nice except for Ladykillers. not much of a storyline.. most recommended: white chicks, without a paddle and dodgeball if you caught zoolander before..haha.. looking forward to the sentosa trip... tanning..=) guess i will knockout when i reach home... but i wanna listen to my F.I.R album. Just bought it and has accompanied thruout my journey. alrighty, headingfor home sweet home... Tmr still gotta work. Will go laminate my cert tmr in my office, keke..

Light of my Life

Its been a hectic week.. Buddy's gf is in ICU for dengue, went to check on her yesterday and now i am having diarrhea.. is it in the trend? Or issit just me? Saw so many things going on in the ward.. The old auntie opp her is actually passing away and all her family members were there.. Pardon us but we have been staring at them to see wat is going to happen next.. Catholics.. doing some rituals.. Saddening.. Luckily she is just in ICU for observation.. tubes everywhere around her body.. The big machine is always making this noise like an alarm, irritating.. She is fine, can talk and make jokes but she wanna go home. Who dun wanna? staying in that kind of place..But still, she have to be observed..There is this 'meesee' who actually explained every detail of dengue and answers all our questions. looks like Lucy Liu..heh..Not bad if u have this kind of nurse looking after you, yah? *wink* Hopefully she gets transferred to her ward this afternoon..

My fast-forwarded weekend**

Went out on friday to catch a play with Kyon and lyn. Mergers and Wills. To think i have so much emotions and thoughts abt it. Quite nice. It would be better if its in English, ya? =) Supposed to to C&C which i have no idea why its packed with pple.. *scratch head* Went down to 5'10 instead. drink and drink..had fun.. i have such good laugh when im with them. So i decided to go out with them the next day. Supposed to go kayaking but slept till 230pm.. my usual routine is to wake up at 10am and go market? ha. Met them at boat quay and karaoke-ing again.. drink and drink again.. cant drink much cos headaches.. dunno why whenever i drink, my headaches come..i shud be damn. Wedding is suppose to be 1200pm the next day and guess wat? Came home at 7am in the morning.. Must be disappointing to have me as a colleague.. Went out again.. with XB. Basically stoning away.. got my puma t-shirt. *Glee* and some others.. ikea is so packed with pple and we headed down to Mt Faber, courtesy of grouch. =D Nice place to stone again.. talking rubbish, blah blah... wanted to wash car but freaking tired and its only 11pm if i remembered. Sorry pal.. Monday is almost over and saturday is coming again and i am going for the movie marathon. Bless me.

Self - Evaluation

Psychiatric evaluation. Everyone is a problem. Its just how they see it and handle it. Maybe i cant handle other pple becoz they are more crazy than me. Their emotions and the way of handling things are something i cant comprehend. They can just do watever they think is right mite not be rite for wat i think it is. Or am i to say maybe i am the insane one? I am driving myself crazy...
Went for Hoobastank concert at sentosa yesterday. We can only stay outside and hear. No tickets. Turned out quite a number of them were also stranded outside for a sake of just one song.. You know wat i mean. Good thing we din miss it cos we arrives at 930pm. The place changed quite alot. The toilets were cool, not as crampy. Met Damon and friends. Asked me to go phuture. Taken back for a while and the past images flashed into my mind. I had one time experience with them was already enough and my kaki was not even there. Think better stay with my faithful buddy. Its her birthday today! Went to Newsroom. it was packed everywhere. Its been a long time since i went down that stretch of road. Long long time ago. Had fun. =) Buddy's gf sent me home with her bike. Woohoo! The chilly wind blowing against me, felt so good. Felt so exposed compared to driving. The excitement when you know that it is dangerous. Life is just one thin line. It just feel so alive when you know the next moment something bad mite happened. Felt so free..Ha.

Stranded**

Time: 0130hr and suppose to be asleep on my cosy bed but i still hafta wait for my hair to dry.. Just reached home due to some unforseen circumstances.. ha. I was having steamboat with my best mates at marina south and were happily chatting away. Time flies.. and its on a weekday, due to time constraint, we decided to head home. Yes, only me and 'another buddy' went home together. We were so tired of waiting for the bus and was actually wondering if the last bus has gone... finally decided to take a cab home but i was so broke that she have to fork out the money first. How pathetic.. Anyways, there was not an ATM found in the south... Caught the last bus to the MRT station and went down to Somerset to draw some money.. Haiz.. another mishap.. The atm cant vomit out the money. My buddy started to panic and i was in a cuden be bothered attitude. I dunno wat has gotten to me but i just feel so peaceful? haha.. Maybe its with her. She can do the thinking. I quit doing that already. Went to her house by bus and she hafta transfer the money to my acc thru internet banking. How strange. Well, if thats the best way, i will just follow then. So this is how i managed to get home with my buddy's help. Thanks Buddy! Still wanna go out with me next time? ha. well, that brought a very different experience to her though.. Quit smoking eh? if you really did it, probably i will do that more often..always broke.haha. =D

~~ ~~ ~~

I'm tired of work lately. Is it true that when pple get too close, they lose the courtesy to actually let them know that they are pissed, instead they show it on you? I dun owe anyone to get this kind of attitude, do I? I am sick and tired of work too. I've heard 121 voice msges, Lodged like almost 50 lost reports on ezlink cards and have to hear pple complaining and blaming at our wonderful system. My another wonderful SENIOR colleague still can ask me why yesterday i din hear the voice mail? I am actually doing you a favour by listening to YOUR voice mails. You said there are 30 over msges unheard and why din i get back to them? Why dun you? Can i have some bloody credit on what i've done? Sometimes i wish those pple i hate can just die. Fucking getting on my nerves. Talking abt work makes me boil. Lousy day! My only consolation is that I'm going out with my buttheads for steamboat. Lets hope that they dun ask me abt work.Guess i will burst.

LoVe~~

You are totally in love.You try to hide it but you
cant.You are nice and pretty in your own way
and you are a bit of a daydreamer.Have fun and
please rate my quiz.


Are you in love?
brought to you by Quizilla

Friendship

SORRY!! i lost the band you made for me.. really.. all the hardwork down the drain. You still looked so cool abt it. I wished you wud just flare up a lil but you din. Makes me so guilty. I really treasure the band you know. It makes you feel special. Hand made stuff. No second piece is the same. *Sigh* Gatsby said something which made me realised wat i am now is different from wat i was in the past. She said she wud prefer me to be like in the past, be it in attitude. I missed it too. Guess its the relationships with pple that makes you changed without you realising it. Gratefiul that someone still likes me for who i am, without even changing. I've changed. Changed under circumstances but i will try to break it thru. If you dun like me, get out of my life. Thats me. I hate living in your shadows. Just shut up. Your words kill. **ROAR**

My world.

I wish the world is black and white, a yes or no situation and love or hate relationships. I wuden be living in contradiction. I wish I was a deaf and mute. I wuden hear wat I dun wanna hear, I wuden see wat I dun wanna see. Life is sometimes beautiful but I've seen some of the ugly sides too. I rather give it all up. Life is always not a straight line. I get it. Who is great enough to set things rite? I am learning to love, love this imperfect world, learning to love wholeheartedly.

I miss you. Whenever when I am feeling down, u never fail to bring me joy. I miss you. whenever I need you, u are always there. I miss you. although sometimes you mite switch me off but I still miss you. now that its all gone, you are no longer here with me, cos I let you go heartlessly.whenever I see you with somebodyelse, I wondered if I did the rite thing. I have no choice. I need a change. but I still loved you the most, do you know thaT? My Nokia 6510..

New knees please!!

Yes, my knees are weak and its getting worse.. i need to find a physiotherapist to be my partner.. ha. Grouchy asked me to drink turtle soup, it helps. Hmm.. how many turtles do they need to kill to get my knees cured? i rather see a decent doctor and find a authentic way to cure it. He said if its not better, i hafta go see the therapist. Haiz.. and he just dispensed some cream and painkillers and thats it. Looks fictitious. Lets see how it goes.. Long weekend is coming. Guess i hafta enjoy it with my disability.

See you in hell..

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test

GOD!!

Hecate

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Tots

We have different perspectives, no two men are alike. All we can do is to accomodate and learn from each other. Will you just walk away if the person is not your cup of tea? Are you not thinking too highly of yourself? Who are we to judge anyway? Who are we to think we are better than other pple? Aren't we just human beings that some of us are still trying to find out why are we here? To evaluate other pple? To make yourself happy? I am sometimes sick and tired of this whole issue on communication compatibility. Maybe acceptance is hard. Maybe you shuden be too hard on urself. Maybe, maybe. You can always do things to please urself cos it is u who are living. Wat abt others? have you ever put yourself in others shoes, or u prefer to put others in UR shoes? Its the easier way out, yah? People, how interesting. They are a part of ur life, ur experience and emotions.I wonder if pple will die living in isolation? Why cant we live in peace? Life is a biatch.

Grieve..

i just dun wanna talk abt it. Things are just unpredictable sometimes.

One week later..

what have i been doing? nothing much.. keeping myself offline recently.. met up with mum and she said my hair is growing long.. need a cut, so i gladly went. =) we chatted a lil and my other me suddenly tells me that they both are tog.. wearing the same bracelet, answering her msges and having the same hp accessory? well.. thats abt it. but she look really nice.. really.. anywayz, i have other things to think abt.. well, yes.. talk abt infatuation.. sick and tired of this world... lala.. dunno wat song is singing on radio... nice.. reading a book now.. called purpose driven life. cant seem to get enuff of it. everything in the book is like an eye opener to me. lemme recall wat i have actually done over the weekends... went to get a new handfone with a new no. bought the tix for the mergers and wills show. hope everything will be in order.. i just sense that something is not going rite.. weird me.

Today is tuesday, lets talk abt sunday.

Ok, sunday, we were suppose to go sentosa for a tan but someone said that it will rain. Well, it turns out to be hoax..bleh.. went to K house instead.. Her soup is really fantastic..mushroom soup.. makes me wanna cook the recipe this sunday... maybe friday cos i on leave.. we watched L word and its quite a nice show although its quite draggy.. Emotional draining.. but u can pick up some pointers there.. well, i was just thinking whether lesbianism, issit just a kind of lifestyle that we are so use to it that we cant shake it off? Nobody can actually have the perfect answer for that cos when i went down town a few weeks back, there are like so many of  'us' hanging ard. i can see them as young as like 15? Issit just a fashion statement or wat? *scratch head* maybe i am just old. lets stop talking abt it. Thursday i am going karaoke with them and friday i am on leave.. heh.. did i say that already? cos someone is jealous.. =Þ thats quite about it. i am brain dead for now..

There goes my door..

Came home after karaoke-ing with gatsby and found my door was locked.. Nevermind, i've got the keys to open but I cant seem to open it. Started to freak out and called pa for help.. I had to pry open my windows to see wat is freaking wrong.. Turned out that the knob was faulty.. After fixing the knob like knocking it off and digging it out, its done. Took 1 freaking hour, i finally broke into my room.. and now i hafta change the whole freaking door.. Blame it on luck! Pui!

I have a child?

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

Where's my jane?

Tarzan!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Orange is my fave color? So is my heart?

Your Heart is Orange


What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saturday!

Had a nice sleep.. the weather is cold.. *yawnz* wondering wat i'm doin today.. maybe i can get my ass up and do some vacuuming, changing bedsheets and my laundry, if i can get the things done by today... feel like eating BK again.. ha. i had that yesterday. cant seem to get sick of my whopper.. i need to go the bank too.. my mum is coming back today. wondering if she is cooking today, =D think she is coming back in the nite. i wanna sleep again.. just snuggling will do. i can be as lazy as as i want, but still need to do some stuff.. will grouchy ask me out? have been thinking abt my cat dying.. wat will i do? J asked me wats with everybody doing the blogging? i told her maybe its they have so many things to say but no one is listening.. i want to get a book. or shud i not? The Narcissist. i need to cook. my veg is turning yellow. have to wash the dishes. i need to go to the loo. i think thats enuff. i really need to go... to the loo.

Xiao Gang's concert

Dead tired. Concert was okay, its FOC, so no complaints. my first local concert is to watch him.. how weird. Special appearance is the person who sang 'Hua Xiang' guy.. Luckily i had a latte before i went. i am hungry now. i want to sleep. Shut down.

Happy ENding?

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

:::PEACE!!!:::

i am on leave today. i was suppose to sleep till noon today. i am pissed off now becoz my freaking neighbour woke me up!!!!!! i cant stand it anymore! i feel like i am living in a lunatic house! Everyday i try to accommodate their autistic girl abt her screamings and fuck why shud i do that? I've really have enuff. u may say i have no compassion, try living with it for the pass 3 freaking years!! ROAR!!!! i wanna call the police and ask them to move! why did they move here anyway? Must be the neighbours had enuff of them too. having major headache now cos yesterday drank all sorts of crap. Met some familiar faces whom i can still talk to. somebody is obviously trying to hard to get the things they want. i look at them, boy please get a grip of urself. you really look so desperate. sorry to say that. even though u manage to get that girl u want, ur reputation is already on the floor. Dun you know that? freaking sad. look at wat u've become. the thought of it gives me headaches. please get it off my mind, for goodness sake. maybe that is the way u are saying, socialize, meet more pple.. but pple are actually commenting abt you.. hmm.. thats something to think abt. u want company or u want reputation. wat a harsh world it is. it doesnt look that fantastic after all. Guess i'm comfortable this way. just know the pple and chat abit is good. Hi, Bye.

crap! i AM complaining!!

Argh!! yesterday when i tried to write my blog, it was unsucessful, i dunno whether this time it works, all thanks to my XB.. d/led dunno wat anti-popping program..WTF??
i survived monday cos my "ke xing" is on mc today and i told my beloved E.T i am gay...buahahah! think i must be mad. she dun believe me, and hanie, pls dun be shocked if u read this..heh.. she said i am the most unpretentious creature in the world, which is true except for my identity.. actually i am agent alimama.. keke.. i felt the load off my mind when i told her that. still waiting for her to gimme her blog address which she is so secretive abt.. wonder wats in there? crap lor.. act mysterious only... my skin is peeling off my face and i am like a snake now... there goes my tanning session..when will i have a nice tan? Hiakz.. read something nice on todays straits times life! which i zapped it out for my future reference if i have the chance to read it the next time and think tht will be like donkey years from now.. it was abt salvaging failed marriages against everything and it actually answer my questions on my previous blog abt my evil sista! here comes: [When you nurse a grudge, you think that you are punishing the others party. But its a poison that ends up killing yourself] The paradox is that by giving this gift to the other, it is the gift-giver who becomes psychological healed.If the person purposely wants to make you hate her, then i've got nothing to say.. which i've had a discussion with E.T, or maybe i've not master the art of forgiveness yet. I'm not talking abt mariages but on r/s for now. Like i said, easier said than done. Well, the auntie did it, to forgive her spouse on infidelity, why cant we? anyway we are not bounded by anything black and white. why take it so hard? We can call the auntie stupid, maybe she dun have financial support on her own or even say she is weak, which is none of the above. she decided to stay on. Can we even do that? Can we be able to just forgive? Who is the real fighter? Or are we the sore losers? ha. Or issit just ego? Go figure it yourself.. coz i also hafta face the wall and think.

Laksa frensy or hum frensy?

Was at home the whole day and only just went out to take a breather. hooked on starbucks latte. dunno why.. they say it cures headaches.. yah cos after drinking it, i am well! its a miracle!.bleh..grouchyked and jess were here to eat my laksa and had one take away for wah. Issit becoz of the hums? seriously, i dunno.. working tmr again. i dread going to work now... must be my lazybones acting again.. haiz.. everyday is a routine.. when will it be friday again? need to sleep to slog my ass off tmr....

Evil sista!!

went out early today.. suppose to meet J at 1145 going to sentosa for tanning.. waited for her and her gf to fetch me but was told that she was lost and cant find her way out..... staying in west side, fancy getting lost in west side.. anyways, waited for 15 mins and luckily kk was also driving and she fetched me instead. happily went for tanning and chit chatting.. J asked me whether im hanging out with mr gatsby, i said yah.. cos i cant find anyone to go out with sometimes.. and she said to ask xxx out. i told her we are 2 diff personalities and that we dun really click that well.. must be mad. was with her for so long and now i am saying this. i dun mind going out with a group of pple along with her.. After sentosa, i was suppose to go east coast for bbq cos its Xiaobears sis birthday. waiting again... 15 mins for my grouchyked and wah zai to meet me at harbourfront. finally reached our destination. Xiaobear told me something. There is always limitations in our lives. as long as you are happy. i am. i am trying to. guess i cant accomodate those pple that pisses me off anymore cos when i think of it, i do get angry. as far as i tried, i am no saint. we cant live happily ever after. why shud i be kind enuff to them when they think they actually deserve it? they dun.. i am actually doing them a favour.. i am getting insane to be kind to everyone and think it shud be this way. maybe its just her. my e-pal told me: you think its nothing but there is something.. sometimes words kill like any other thing that cuts superficially. i wonder why. Just dun step onto my tail, i will bite this time. **ROAR**

from sugarfly's other half,
the Evil Sista!

HAPPY?

Read Swan lake's blog awhile ago and it makes me wanna write..heh.. my buddy at work suddenly told me that her friends ask her to mingle ard and meet more friends. Wat is this mingle ard and get a life kindda attitude suddenly so crap. i mean, so wat if we dun have a freaking life? Why do they care? so wat if we life in a circle and cant get out? i am very pissed off now and i dunno why. FORGET IT! went supermarket and get some things. cant believe i am having headaches at home. i dun wanna live with it. deliberately passed by the salon to check her out but she is busy cutting hair. nvm. tmr is another day but its friday and there is something on @ whyNot. Shud i or shud i not? Mr gatsby sent me an ecard yesterday.. am i just contented being this way? i can go out of the circle and mingle, i can choose my friends. Given if its you, wat will u do? i do have a choice. but issit a good choice or a bad one? i have to bear the consequence. i knew which one is good. but still i cant let go. Yes, i finally said it. Its easier said than done. I cant I CANT! somebody kill me. i hate it this way. i need help. but will i let others help? i need something else. Worldly matters. i am unhappy now. the promises i gave her. im afraid that i will really let her down. Life, theres only one. Live it. Live wat others want you to be or live it the way YOU want it to be? Paranoid. Contradicting. No one is basically there for you cos only you know the struggles in you. When will i be strong? How abt me against the world? how abt me embracing the world? which one is easier? ha! Execute me if i am against it, cos He did it and died.. But i am here still. I am not strong as He is. i still have a long way to go. i cant handle it. Really. Will you forgive me if i fall? i know if i walk out, i will be a free man as i claimed to be now but guess its not as simple as you think. The mind, body and soul.. Maybe i deserved it, cos i have come this far.. when can i put this issue to rest? i need a break.

Unexpected calls..

Went to work as usual even though my good buddy is on leave today.. i am prepared to die anyway.. but who knows, not much calls today and even found out that its Zinc's last day.. how sad.. our youth is dying off.. bought her a piglet mini beanie which i liked it too.. i took my chance and walked ard the office, obviously trying to eat snake..ha. its time to payback anyway. I've slogged enuff!! wanted to go out after work but cant find any.. went home str8.. funny my cousin called me and said that he needs some space for his stuff cos he's moving out.. Then, J called. Haiz, missing her like since dunno when... another one just came bcak from AUSSIE! i can scream my head off! when issit my turn? when issit going to be dec? Asking me who is going with me, if there is no one else, i also wanna go alone! i dun care. i must be mad. think she is the one that keeps me sane enuff. maybe meeting up on sat to see wat she has got for me..heh.. go "haiz Bianz" mtv.. yea.. =D

Haircut

Just "cutted" my hair today.. Two new salons just came out from nowhere from my neighbourhood and decided to do it.. Went in, expect the stylist to be those auntie pattern but hell no.. she looked cool and the place looked simple just the way i liked it. The phone is cute too.. looks like a public phone but its black in color. She's got a tattoo on her neck and another one at the hip bone too.. but its Garfield.. ha. Her hair is also nice.. short.. shes a stylist, rite? Think i will be going there to get my haircut next time if its still there.. =)

Stoned

Its not that she's been thru so much, its just that she haven't been thru that much. That affects one attitude.

MRT

Today when i was on my way to town, listening to radio.. the song Our Lives by The Calling... Hmmm... tot of something. Theres a reason we're here.. but you have to find out wat you have to do with your own life instead of questioning it.. No one will answer it except yourself.. No matter how you are feeling, its all your own doing... i mean wat a wonderful world will be if everyone is happy.. Lala... sometimes things that cant let go, it holds you down.. really.. maybe i am on my way to the Enlightenment..hahaha..

Cats Crap!

Hi, its me again... look at the time. Its just 0554hrs. why am i up so freaking early? cos i have to change bedsheets.. the glorious moment when my cat puked on my bed while i was in dreamland.. felt something wet on my knee when i realised wat she had done!! CRAP! Thank God im not working today if not, i will jump and have her head roasted! Must be drunk or something..... So stoned now.. love my cat so much and she is doing shit to me.. how sad. I as abt to change a new set of bedsheets before this incident.. guess not.. Phew.. Saw an sms..sent 0404hrs.. one of my friend's gf called me earlier.. we were suppose to hangout today but was cancelled.. asked me if i contacted Charlie, told her unable to get him.. Asked her if they quarrelled.. She broke down.. I was in shock literally, i mean.. just because of a quarrel? maybe it broke her heart or something but if its me, i will be the one burning with rage.. Ha. Anyway, the sms said dun mention to Charlie that she actually called me up.. Wondering will she know if she reads this? Quarrelling, i suppose its normal.. As long as you talked things out.. Dunno wat they quarrelled abt but wun i be in dilemma cos i cant tell? Wat am i suppose to do? I wanted to tell Charlie how worried she was. I wanted to tell Charlie that she actually cared so much abt the r/s.. maybe she herself is gonna tell Charlie that.. maybe im just an extra.. maybe i shuden be worrying in the first place.. * yawnZ* ok sleep.. Or shud i go market?

Stressed

Having frequent freaking headaches recently.. Seems like my brain is splitting into half.. Affecting my work as well.. Doc says its tension.. maybe thinking too much abt life issues and workload is also piling up...*SIGH* Amazing how things can eat away your life.. If u are just having fun, you are wasting your life.. If you are too serious, you get headaches.. Sometimes when i feel like going out, the aftermath makes me tired, if im at home, i get bored..How can one get the life str8? Luckily i have a understanding boss.. Quite a nice woman.. although she throws alot of things to my beloved sup(hafta say that, shes gonna read it) heh.. She said: As long as you try your best.. But who knows it? Maybe its just half pass six? Maybe its not enuff? I dunno.. Really appreciate the effort to find out wats wrong with me.. cos in this world, Who cares anyway rite? Maybe its just stress.. Hate it.. Struggling to year end... i want to go australia!! If not, i will die of suffocation..

-Blinded-

Blinded... how blinded are we that we dun even realise that... how sad.. when you open your eyes, u will see how beautiful this world is... there are really so many other things for us to do, to think abt. ur life, not to evolve with others, cos its urs and urs alone.. learn to be independant, learn something new everyday... You wun die being alone but you will die living other pples life... they are not forever urs. I finally understand the meaning of Emotional Dependancy. Your emotions is controlled by someone else.. I was once like this before and i am so sick of it. If you can choose to be free, why not? Its freedom of choice really.. Dun tell me that you choose to be in ED situation cos you are not happy at all.. Stop giving urself excuses. You will tire urself out. Be happy!! thats wat a friend wants you to be..=D maybe one day you will realise when u are feeling the lowest, the person you want her to be is not even there..

*Forgiving*

Forgiving... do you forgive and walk away, hoping ur heart will be at ease which in this case i suspect is in denial or do you really forgive from the bottom of the heart and dun bear grudges? who will be able to make it to this extent? i am trying to be like one. another day went by and soon it will be wednesday again.. ked and laura is coming back frm aussie, yeah! finally, been there like for 2 weeks like for years.. tmdz..wondering wat they brought back .. i am so freaking tired but my mind is still working.. no O.T claim summore.... wat the heck. Mr Gatsby says my blog seems fake.. well, i dunno..if i write everything the truth, will u be able to take it? i have thousand and one things running in my mind, ya know? i was just hoping u can just know how im feeling generally.. if i really go in depth, i think i can have a set of encyclopedia of my very own.. =Þ just ask me or maybe i will tell you more.. i dun keep things.. you know me. i need someone to share and comment on things.. oky, the end. nitez**pooF**

~party~?

Today is sunday and i din go to church.. went mad monks on friday and now my bones are acheing all over still... everybody seem to change and i cant even recognise anyone there.. where have everyone gone to? its just been like 6 months and everything is so different now.. I din wanna go down in the first place but i really need a place that i am comfortable and plays loud music... maybe im out of the scene already.. i dunno... really feel like going out today but there is really no one else i call to... wat is happening to me? its just crap.. thinking abt identity recently i cant handle it. feel like calling someone but i am trying to refrain from doing it... life seems stale now.. its all abt work and i am not liking it now... maybe i will just call whoever that comes to my mind and see wat happens next.. this is really giving me a headache.. i need to get out, but where can i go? this is shit. am i living a double life? i am just contradicting.. can anyone just gimme some answers?

RuBbiShh

Happy tots, happy tots.... lalalala... suddenly got the craving for "guo tie".. Learnt a few skills from Mr Gatsby's mum and just finished the dough only.. Life has been good.. Tot of the day: Someone just asked me to be her gf yesterday... We dun even meet and hangout, let alone be gfs? i admit we were once colleagues but its just platonic friendship.. Sometimes you just know whether the person is the one for you, the sparks? the chemistry? i finally know wat i am toking abt.=D Sometimes it just boils down to infatuation, really. it can happen anytime, any place.. the feeling is kinda crazy, just like high on drugs, hallucinating the perfect person when deep down you know that its not really perfect at all.. after the feel, you come to think of it, its silly, ha. Maybe one day i mite so crazy enuff to be stalking someone else..haha. Who doesnt want someone to be there, to hold and to cherish,thru riches and thru poor, thru sickness and in health, till death do us part? To lie in a cozy corner and to just gaze in each others eyes? Things dun always turn out to be heaven, we are on earth.. Thats cruel.. but i am contented that im not getting hurt and angered.. thats wat it becomes after love. thats my theory, i suppose..

HuManShiT

Finally after a long wait, my pc is finally back.. Thanks Mr Gatsby for fixing up my system..=D i AM a computer idiot, hee. But still i cant hear songs as yet.. =( So many tots came in my mind that i wanted to say but now its just gone with the wind.. Read Steph's online journal.. can't believe she has been writing since 2002? She's really such a doll.. helping me on my work.. thanks pal.. know you will read this someday.=Þ Was wondering why pple are always labeled as selfish.. how selfish can you really get? i really wanna try out to be really mean and selfish.. must be mad. Pple are just making use of pple everywhere.. sometimes i just lose the faith in humans. Even God seems to be inexistent. i am so damn tired of this whole thing. When can i be happy for just once? No strings attach? Wuden it be nice? I wuden be writing this crap and thinking of nonsensical stuff like the irreversible things.. We are of this world.. we are no angels. we dunno magic. Can i be someone higher than just human being? celestial being? E.T? Argh... sleep it off! i suddenly miss KED! Off to australia for 2 WHOLE weeks! another Argh!! HMPH!

AbsOlutely fLawless

Everyone has flaws.. Do you actually have the right to say them? I realised alot of things recently.. people do change and sometimes they change till u dun know them anymore. There are just so many things that i just wanna get over and done with but i dun seem to be letting it down. Some friends which i tot are my true friends, but in the end, they are just passerbys. I was just thinking, do pple really care who you really are or just being with you becoz you have the image, presentable or cool to hangout with? well, who dun wanna get noticed? who dun wanna get the hottest chick in centro? or be reputable? but are you just trying too hard to be in that place? Are you looking at the glamourous lifestyle that you forget the true friends that were with you in the first place. Aren't you too selfish then? After years being friends, we have been thru so much, we have endured so much, accepting each others bad points, becoz we are friends.. I once again have to say, No one is perfect. You chose to forsake me. Why do you even have the chance to do that? You might be happy but i am still not over this broken friendship that you dun seem to know if it still exists. maybe i am just slapping on my own face.. wat irony.

From J***

Extracts from a book..

[but we also add to our own suffering in other ways.
All too often we perpetuate our pain, keep it alive, by replaying our hurts over and over again in our minds, magnifying our injustices in the process.
We repeat our painful memories with the unconscious perhaps wish that somehow it will change the situation - but it never does.
Of course, sometimes this endless recounting of our woes can serve a limited purpose; it can add drama and a certain excitement to our lives, or elicit attention and sympathy from others.
But this seems like a poor trade-off for the unhappiness we continue to endure.]

pickup line?

Like always, i stayed at home and there was a knock on my door when i was doing my laundry. i opened up and saw this guy promoting abt TCC coupons.. asking me to buy $500 worth of vouchers, getting one for one when dining in for just 40 bux. i was so tempted but too bad, i left my money in my bank. Rejected his offer and he started to chat with me, persuading me to get cos its e last day offer. Stood on my ground and where to get the money, ritE? Closed the door and that settles it. 5 mins later, there was a knock again.. its him and he said my neighbour bought it, am i sure to give it a go, i said yes. then he said he wud like to gimme his no and ask me to ask him out sumtime.. haha.. i was flattered cos i was just wearing my boxers and t shirt with a hair band on my head. Who wud pick up a girl like that? Must be crazy.. anywayz, admire his guts.. wondering if he does that to every door he knocks. Too bad, he's not my type, left a chapter on my blog though.=)

Religion..bleh..

Went to town with ked,nuf and laura today.. caught ‘Enter The Phoenix’ movie.. quite lame actually. A combination of Captain Planet and Matrix 5, haha. It could be better if they spoke in cantonese and no censorship. Well, there handsome actors, so not too bad. They are suppose to be handsome, aren’t they? After that, we went borders.. was looking at the self help section when I saw ‘If God is single’. Was thinking the authors nowadays are trying so hard to let consumers to pick up their books.. anywayz, I din take it. While I was taking a bus home, I kept thinking abt the book, damn shud have known to browse it. Well known as a pessimistic freak, was wondering being single is bad enuff and everybody is seeing everybody, wat will happen to God? He is forever single, some of the pple are ignoring Him, taking it for granted that he is forever there, dissing Him off when things dun turn our way or making Him as non existance piece of crap. I do believe He created us and let us live. Sometimes we wish we could just end our lives and stop all the misery, but can God die? I think he cant. He still have to see us through watever it takes. Isn’t He more miserable? Isn’t He more heart-broken compared to our failed relationships, failed friendships, watever that fails us, most of all, we failed Him.. I still think we shud live on and continue our legacy and tell the pple wat we’ve been thru and will only die when He allows us to.. or maybe in the next 20 years, I may commit suicide,nobody knows..haha.
(P.S: I am not a very religious person, just stating my thots, any disagreement, that’s your problem. ;Þ)

Blackout

Yesterday when i was sleeping soundly on my bed with my ever cooling air con on, i was woken up by the stillness of the house.. the first thing i was thinking was not how hot it was but " how come so dark"? it turned out there was a major blackout at my estate. Tot my dad din pay the bills.. Well, everybody was up by then checking out wats wrong.. decided to continue sleeping.. Remembering my mum used to fan me with the newspapers, i had no choice but to relive that again.. how inconvenient was that.. Haiz.. mum did all that for me..I'm so grateful. =) anywayz, shuden blame the power failure.. nothing is perfect in this world except family love.. they just make it right when everything seems so wrong. Mmm.. to think i actually wrote that down.. haha..

Emotions

Just finished watching one hk drama series.. and it said (if everyone knows everything in advance, the world won't have happiness, sadness,grieveness and anger). How true is that. We do have alot to learn and overcome all these "shit", or else we will be emotionless, rite? Well, i am an emotional freak.haha! Finally one day passed by.. wondering wat will i be doing tmr.. went westmall to see doctor but unfortunately, it was closed for Good Friday. i ended up shopping.. buying groceries again.. call me housewife wannabe.=D

Sick...

finally i reached my destination.. after a busy day at work.. i have been busy since i started working there, but i am having 3 days off from tmr..
=) feel like cooking up a storm but who is eating? Haiz.. maybe i will just rot @ home.. how no life is that? well, thats wat pple always say... i am ok with it. when i feel like going out, i go out.. my flu hasn't fully recovered and my ears are still blocked.. where is my guardian angel? Mum is coming back tmr.. Good Friday.. Going to her place? No idea.. Jessica called me this morning to go Genting in May.. If my leave approve, but i will be going with my family already.. Too late. Going to sleep soon.. Nite.. hope i wun have leg cramp just like yesterday...

The Reason

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know


I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

journal

this is my very first online journal after so many donkey years.. i decided to leave my pen and paper go.. wondering if it has the same feelings i had writing instead of typing... i was wondering if pple wud waste their time looking at other pples journals.. if yes, why dun they start writing their own? contradicting.. feels abit weird when u know ur journal is something personal and yet now u are writing to let everyone see... blah blah blah... i mite as well quit the blogspot thingy rite? anywayz, if it happens, it happens.. one fine day i mite as well leave this place and continue to doodle on my conservative pen and my book..=)