Cravings

I do have a craving for durians. You gave me a bunch of grapes instead. Should I be beaming with happiness and be grateful or go get my own indulgence of my durian satisfaction? Expectaions can become disappointments when one can only try to get one for you. You waited when you know you can get it on you own. So when you decided to get it on your own, it defeats the whole purpose of anticipating a gift on the way. I am impatient, but I am not spoilt. I got it on my own because there's no point waiting, no point reminding and no point asking for it.

My fridge now has alot of apples but I have no time to eat it!

1cent worth

-humans should stop thinking how great they are. It's sickening-

Everyone wants to, not just think how great they are. Students wanting to get the highest grades, ah tiongs coming to Sgp, maybe not just ah tiongs, many other different countrymen come to Sgp, the filipinos, banglasdeshi, vietnamese, malaysians,  thinking how great the country is. Singaporeans thinks they are greater by chasing and complaining abt how the foreigners polluting the country soil. So who is the greatest? The one whom I thought is the greatest is dead. The one who had nothing is the greatest. The one who sees everyone as equal is the greatest. She, who cared for the sick and wanted a life for everyone, not a lifestyle that everyone wants to live. Who, is able to do that? Who, would want to stop for a while and think why we humans are behaving like that? Why are we different and yet ostracize one another? Because they want to be greater than the other. They buy better cars, better houses, earn more money because they want to be greater than others. I myself, am in love with a miu miu bag now. Maybe when I get that, I will be greater than you because I have it. And I am just human, like everyone else. It's sickening. Those who want to be great and trying very hard to be one is more sickening.

That's my comment. If you see this, its too long to post on fb.

Listening to yourself can freak you out sometimes.

A road less travelled means you're gonna have bruises, cuts or even fractures. When you are whining about a tiny sand blown into your eye on a well lit paved road, I couldn't be bothered. I am annoyed actually, with your whining.

Emo quote: The only permanent marriage is only with death. Until then, it will never part.

Selfish

As we were younger, we wish to gain recognition from our parents or our elders. We know our parents are the ones who will give unconditional love to us. I grew up with a single parent. I was left with my guardian. My guardian and my cousins. My cousins were way older and they have their own kids. Parents always want the best for their children. Because thats all they have got. Their flesh and blood. My cousins fetch them from school, brought them to toy'r'us, bought them the latest toys, the latest fashion wear. They will feel proud when their children did well in school and that they will be able to tell other people how well their children had done. When they are living with their 'perfect' life, I was the extra. I would be the one carrying the grocery bags while they were carrying their babies. I would be the one that wore the unwanted clothes my cousins would throw but find that its a waste. I knew I couldn't get the attention and the love from them as they are ultimately not my family and never will be. I, was the outcast. I was fat (and still is) and had the lowest self esteem. My only cupboard of clothes was in a apple carton you see in the market. Nobody listened to me. They were busy leading their wonderful lives. I grew with envy but never hatred. Life, was a long way to go. Life, was different without parents showering me with the attention. Life, was selfish. I wasn't acting pathetic because I don't want to. I wanted to break away from all the negative thoughts but didn't know how to. My life wasn't like Oliver twist though cos I was fat. When everyone had their dinner and the leftovers were to be thrown, My guardian would force me to finish up even though I didn't want to. So, its not as obvious as ill-treating. Ha. I, grew up. I, grew up keeping my distance with my guardian, my relatives. I knew I wouldn't die without their love. I just blamed myself why was I in a broken family. I had anger management issues in school. I had no friends. I never sought help, (I think if I did, I maybe labeled Bipolar, haha)
And that was my history and its all the past. I'm happy now, never been happier.

So I learnt, Life, be selfish.
Mother Theresa will be labeled as Gong Kia. She was famous because no one could do wat she did. Nobody wants to be as stupid as she was. Be bloody selfish! I want to be selfish! Grrr!!

Have you realised that maybe the people around you, your friends didn't change. It is you who have changed. I felt a tinge of sadness. Maybe I did change. I grew up. Different people made different choices and have different experiences. I could have been worst. Be it in character or behaviour. I could have been self-centred, unreasonable, erratic or even narcistic. I am glad I didn't. Because all those doesn't matter anymore.

Finally I brought the backpack home.. I asked pa the backpack nice or not, he said " you want to become peace already. " I asked him what is peace? He said (lao)老 hippies. So backpacking trip is for 老 hippies...

Everyday anyday.

Its been 2 days. My fridge has papaya, honeydew, grapes, mangoes and oranges. 1st day I asked pa, got apples not? He said don't have. 2nd day after dinner, I asked pa again. Why no apples? He has been eating oranges every night. Then he said " No teeth how to eat?!" Now I know why he keep eating oranges cos he can't eat apples!. =S

She said she read my blog recently.. I was like its so long time ago since I last posted. Then she asked me if I'm ok... Like huh? She asked if I am self-emoing. I am not currently and wasn't emo-ing since the last post. So maybe now I get it. When I emo, I blog. Maybe when I am disappointed with humans, I blog. But that doesn't change anything. I'm tired. Really. I will be just here, all the time, complaining. Right now I'm just happy. Quietly watching what humans are up to on their longest sleeves..

I heard a rumour!

I heard a rumour saying that you only befriend the rich and not the poor.
I heard a rumour that you only wear the branded and don't eat at coffeeshops.
I heard a rumour that you are a fucking racist., calling others by the color.
I heard a rumour you are in debt and still wanna act like a rich kid.
I heard a rumour that you think too highly of yourself.
Rumours build up your character. Rumours tells me what kind of person you are. Rumours are sometimes true. Rumours are so intriguing that people always like to hear. Rumours has it that you are worthless as a friend. I'm lucky I'm not your friend. I never owe anything to you as a friend and never will as I believe being friends, there is no need to be calculative.

And I go OoMmm..

Power Yoga makes my arms sour.

Namaste.

Angels Talk

Abd Mubarak was on his way to Mecca when one night he dreamed that he was in heaven and heard two angels having a conversation.
“How many pilgrims came to the holy city this year?” one of them asked.
“Six hundred thousand”, answered the other.
“And how many of them had their pilgrimage accepted?”
“None of them. However, in Baghdad there is a shoemaker called Ali Mufiq who did not make the pilgrimage, but did have his pilgrimage accepted, and his graces benefited the 600,000 pilgrims”.
When he woke up, Abd Mubarak went to Mufiq’s shoe shop and told him his dream.
“At great cost and much sacrifice, I finally managed to get 350 coins together”, the shoemaker said in tears. “But then, when I was ready to go to Mecca I discovered that my neighbors were hungry, so I distributed the money among them and gave up my pilgrimage”.

Paulo Coelho

BUDGET CORNER

Everything costs money. The food you eat, the clothes you wear. Everything comes with a price. The more expensive it is the better. People will think the money they spent was well worth it. The branded cars, the gadgets they carry, the bags they bought. It gives them the mind to think that's they are of a higher status. It's called materialism. They worked really hard for it to maintain the lush lifestyle they felt were better off than what they did not have in the past. They will also work doubly hard to be even better off than what they currently have now. It's called discontentment. How does one truly be happy? How does one truly UNDERSTAND being in poverty also does have happiness? How does one BELIEVE contentment brings joy to the tiniest thing that has happened, be it good or bad? Have FAITH and TRUST that life, is celebrated on its own, not by products.
How about buying a friendship?.
How much is a friendship? 5years worth of time is maybe much more worthy compared to 10yrs. It's quite worthless because it depreciates over time. First impression is always the most expensive because one has to do up all the superficial presentation one can get. As the friendship proceed in years, there's basically nothing to be shown. Since the friendship now becomes free, one can be free to betray, free to exploit or even free to reign the friendship over one's benefit. Manouvering this friendship to one's favour. If it doesn't work out, make more new friends and be merry! We are rich anyway! Years wasn't the issue, the issue is ; one's words can kill years of friendship. Words are free by the way. Freedom of speech. Freedom to choose your friendship. How much does yours cost?

Another blablablah

Things happen for a reason and the reason is for you to learn and experience what you've been through and reflect on yourself whether have you grown to a better person or worse. I believe when people grow older, they become wiser cos they have seen and experience quite abit.
For those who didn't, its either they are in denial of being old, or they are just plain ignorant.
For those who think they seen alot, they don't cos they haven't seen death. They will never learn becos they think they have learnt all.
And those who are so in love with themselves, they don't realise that the people around don't love them at all. How much do you know yourself and how much do you not know that you are actually a pain in the ass? You actually don't know at all because everything else is about you and not others. How pathetic it can be to be just you and you alone.

Life, is just a one time play. Fuck it up and enjoy.

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others, including Love.

One day, it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean.  So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.

Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.

Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, 'Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?'  Richness answered, 'I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere.'

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, 'Vanity, help me please.' 'I can't help you', Vanity said, 'You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat.'

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, 'Sadness, please let me go with you.' Sadness answered, 'Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now.'

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, ' Happiness, please take me with you.' But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, 'Come Love, I will take you with me.' It was an elder.  Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name.

When they arrived on land, the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, 'Who was it that helped me?' 'It was Time', Knowledge answered. 'But why did Time help me when no one else would?', Love asked.

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, 'Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.'

Open letter to God

Dear God,
What kind of men/women attract you? If its the fatal attraction, I guess you have to take them with you. They must be good in order to catch your eye. They must so good that they need not have to suffer anymore on earth. Amongst all the confusion on earth, battling with the good and evil, you took the good ones. As we always say, the good always die young. If I were to die soon, am I considered good? Will I die with regrets? Do I not suffer the process of dying? Do I not see the sadness on my loved ones? If you take me away, should I feel happy? My life, is it in Your hands?

Open letter to the Fallen

Dear Fallen,
Why do you always like to recruit the earthlings? You conquered hell, and now earth is part of it too. What are you trying to achieve? Is all this part of a strategic game? A recruitment exercise? You made us suffer and now you come in full force. I guess the worst is yet to come. I guess there is no one else except us. So heartache, is it Your emotion or Gods? For Trust is God's and Deception Yours. In the end, its still between You and Him. If Good and Evil, Right and Wrong goes hand in hand, why the fight? If its the choosing that made the difference, then you are the clever one. you want us to suffer with You, so that You won't be lonely. When are you done with the mind games?

Writer's Block.
Tell you a secret, I am better off without you.

Thinking.
Years of living, what have you learnt?
Trying not to get to affected about people's actions and their insensitivity but,
they still get to me.
Friendship,
What benefits?
Years of it, so what?
.
I'm sick.
Sick of you.
Not once, not twice but many other times.
How can you be so bias?
.
Some things will never change. When you are judging others, look yourself in the mirror.

Forgiveness

Is the greatest act more than anything else. The amount of anger, pain, hurt, distress and the hatred all boils down to are you willing to let go. Gone with the wind. It probably can make you a better person. If you can forgive, then why not forget? There are better happy memories than to keep re-enact the bitter ones.It's not easy cos we are after all, humans. From the bottom of your heart, it might set you free.

Storytelling

I once told a friend; No matter how much money you have lost, you can always earn it back. No matter what things you have lost, you can always buy it back. The only one thing is you see the true colors of a person, its priceless.

Stalker on the loose..Hahaha!!

Was taking the train to work yesterday and i saw the new advert in the train...

And immediately my mind comes to....

Hahahaha!

My First days of 2010

My First days of 2010

First customer of the year is a couple from HK. Talk abt overseas. Resident DJ from Club Volar which he said was the most talked abt club in HK. Maybe I should pay a visit.. Heh.
My bigger pelican case for my precious.
My first awesomeness sennheiser earphones!
My first pair of bright orange nike air force one!
My first club membership: Mustafa Club Membership! Ha!

 

 

 

Everything is just within my reach. How convenient.It gonna be a very good year indeed! Wahahaha!