Selfish

As we were younger, we wish to gain recognition from our parents or our elders. We know our parents are the ones who will give unconditional love to us. I grew up with a single parent. I was left with my guardian. My guardian and my cousins. My cousins were way older and they have their own kids. Parents always want the best for their children. Because thats all they have got. Their flesh and blood. My cousins fetch them from school, brought them to toy'r'us, bought them the latest toys, the latest fashion wear. They will feel proud when their children did well in school and that they will be able to tell other people how well their children had done. When they are living with their 'perfect' life, I was the extra. I would be the one carrying the grocery bags while they were carrying their babies. I would be the one that wore the unwanted clothes my cousins would throw but find that its a waste. I knew I couldn't get the attention and the love from them as they are ultimately not my family and never will be. I, was the outcast. I was fat (and still is) and had the lowest self esteem. My only cupboard of clothes was in a apple carton you see in the market. Nobody listened to me. They were busy leading their wonderful lives. I grew with envy but never hatred. Life, was a long way to go. Life, was different without parents showering me with the attention. Life, was selfish. I wasn't acting pathetic because I don't want to. I wanted to break away from all the negative thoughts but didn't know how to. My life wasn't like Oliver twist though cos I was fat. When everyone had their dinner and the leftovers were to be thrown, My guardian would force me to finish up even though I didn't want to. So, its not as obvious as ill-treating. Ha. I, grew up. I, grew up keeping my distance with my guardian, my relatives. I knew I wouldn't die without their love. I just blamed myself why was I in a broken family. I had anger management issues in school. I had no friends. I never sought help, (I think if I did, I maybe labeled Bipolar, haha)
And that was my history and its all the past. I'm happy now, never been happier.

So I learnt, Life, be selfish.
Mother Theresa will be labeled as Gong Kia. She was famous because no one could do wat she did. Nobody wants to be as stupid as she was. Be bloody selfish! I want to be selfish! Grrr!!