Disconnecting...

What happens when u are disconnected from this world and takes on to the unknown? Sense of fear? Lost? Or sense of excitement? adrenaline? many times its just choices. left or right? yes or no? buy or not to buy? go or not to go? How many times u know urself better but u hear otherwise from friends? Do they know u better than u know urself? Is that self-centred? I think i am crazy. The world is way bigger than myself. There are way too many possibilities. I just dun want to stay the way it is for me. Period.

Searching....

To those who haven't know, i have already officially closed down my retail shop a few months back and now currently busy doing something else, which is tattooing. Running business is not easy, and i am glad i gain the experience. So anyone who is interested in having a tattoo or a cover up or repair, please let me know. For now, i am going to work.

I'm FeeLinG EViL!

**We can't handle the differences & yet we are complaining of being still the same.**


I was taking a bus in the evening one day and something happened on the bus which shocked me. As it was evening time, there were quite a number of joggers ard. I was in a bus with with a few passengers. The driver was an indian. One skinny male jogger board the bus and asked the driver where the bus leads to. The driver din even have the time to answer, the jogger spat on the driver and went down. Stunned. The first thing that came to my mind was: Racist or wat? I was angered. The driver closed the door and the jogger came again and knocked the door. The driver ignored him and took out his hanky to wipe the spit off his face. When he drove off, the jogger can still gave a thumbs up.
I really admired the driver whom was still so composed and continued driving but I guess there is nothing much he can do anyway. I really hope that those people who they judge by skin color, nationality or anything other physical means will grow cancer cells and die. We are all human beings as whole, as a person, whom we cannot choose what color we want, where we want to be borned and raised. You think what? The Sims ar?
Putting down on people's character based on skin color. How shallow is that? You shud be ashamed and go die cos you have wasted your whole life judging others and yet dunno people are also judging you. If all were the same color, wouldn't remarks be diminished? But what color shud it be? purple? The color that was never seen on people. So that people will not feel more superior or inferior. See each other into the eye and respect them as human being just like you and me. GRrrRR!!

Torture!

Went facial with mum yesterday. I know my face is like shit, even the beautician also said: Wah! its a challenge.. she asked my mum to take package, which is $450 for 14 sessions. And she paid. The session was a nightmare. PAIN! more painful than being tattooed! Damn. The lady said no choice, have to squeeze everything out. I have a choice, I dun wanna go already. After that, my mum said I have to take care of my face, use water wash face is the bast, keep the face clean, I was thinking, then why must go facial if use water can gao dim. The last sentence she said was the best. She said "Your face looks older than your mother's." Wah piang. She win already. I have to finish the package. Must look younger than her, so much money, pay for me go slimming centre then can get married already lor. =Þ

Truthfully,

how many times can you be so ever truthful to your friends? How much her words hurt, how kpo she can be, how she behaved that not much pple like her but you still her friend, how ignorant she can be, how hot tempered she can be, how loud she annoys others? How fat she became,how demanding she is, how superficial she gets, how she thinks too highly of herself? I guess not, cos you dun want her to get hurt cos she is ur friend. You dun wanna to talk abt it cos it doesn't matter, it is getting no where, there will be more quarrels, and ultimately, its the end of the relationship. So you chose to be tolerant, you chose to ignore, and you began to feel resentful, you feel like its ur fault, you felt that you shud tell her how you feel. Those incidents that caused all these hate. But soon, you just leave it there and you drift away. Like one of my best friend said "You killed ur friends and they die also dunno why" I admit I am not that good either, so lets make new friends. Period. I can't tolerate you no more, just like the others. Communication let me down cos it only makes more complications. Maybe thats why I have become an introvert. ha.

Thesis?

My friend asked me what happened to my blog; and as usual, people got busy, get sick and tired of blogging, and there are thousand and one things u can say to put it off like many things had happened, dunno where to start on telling, there are too many things on the mind, and finally; maybe i shud just shut it down. Full stop. I have been trying to write non stop on what comes to my mind, but i guess that would get too many people involve, cos its the people that gets ur mind going and going and going and going.. I always think that seeing a psychiatrist is for the rich cos they have nothing better to do, they just need someone to talk to. I want to become rich. No matter how much i write, how loud i shout, how annoyed i become, the world is not going to change becos of me. my friends wouldnt change, i wouldnt change, they dun change, why shud i change? so all dun change. Say if i change, i agree on all the things they said, becos its their mindset, i agree to abcdefg to z, whats become of me? nothing. Did i become a pushover? If i disagree, i shout and scream, I get my point across, then they said why cant i change? So now i have to change. Then why dun u change to accomodate me then? The truth is change change lah, who cares? dun like, walk away lor. there has been some changes indeed. I prefer to lead a slower pace of life. I get less angry, i pay attention to the things i do, getting away the stress at work, the politics and the PR towards colleagues. Maybe i take things too seriously that i cant cope with the world, the people, the whatever. i tot abt death a few weeks back. i'm the kind of person that think of such things which i dun quite understand it myself either. theres nothing much this world can offer me cos i am not intending to offer anything to the world anyway. most of other peoples lives are more or less stabled down and even if they are not stable, its not my problem. I dare to challenge life, doing stunts physically, but not mentally. I get emotionally drained that i want to give up. The dare devil versus the cowardice in me. I am contradicting. I have split personality and i want to see a psychiatrist but i am not rich. My step aunt once told me that i have to get married at 28 if not, i cry myself to sleep from then onwards. ha. my future looks bleak, not becos i am coming to 28 and hoping to get married but cant situation, its just that i havent found one rich gf that can afford the fees that i am going to pay when i see a psychiatrist. Looks like i will have to invest on one waterproof pillow soon and sign up for some facial packages once i reach 28. I am still thinking of shutting it down this blog..

Wrong Info

SORRY! the webbie is www.the-t-word.com

Train of tots

I dun understand why people get into fights. Do you really want to kill that person? Have you have such anger in you that needs releasing? I would really want to kill that person if I really get into a fight. Cos it doesnt make sense if the person don't die. only death then the anger will be diminished. Its like you are so consumed with anger that consequences come later. If not, dun fight at all. Thank you.

Another thing, my website is up. Please feel free to take a look.
www.thetword.com
the shop has expanded but no pics yet.

Ok folks, Something different this time

To everyone who reads, my blog has been dead for some time and its time to revive a lil. I have officially quitted my job, which is crazy. Some might say, everybody will say, whatever they say, I can't really please everybody which gives me mental torture. Maybe because when u know u are not perfect and wanted it to be a lil more perfect and yet, why should I be perfect when u are not perfect blah blah blah.. siao liao.. anyway I have known no better way to break the news is that I will be doing some business at the old Queensway Shopping Centre selling Tees. Anyone who is interested in some sideline selling stuff of ur own, let me know. I have a space for you. Here's a sneak preview of my tiny little baby.. heh.






Ok, thats abt all. Can't put too much, there won't be much to see in the shop if I put it all up. =D

ten thousands of WHY?

I am havina a mental block. Have you realised sometimes when u did the best, its still not good enough? Character maybe. All i know is I have a plan trying to do something different. For once.

Belated Valentine Quote

Cheesy quote, I know but I like!

*Love doesn't make the world go round,
It makes life worthwhile

**People can do a million and one things to cover up their flaws,
They dun even know themselves anymore
Thats where people become pretentious
Afraid to show their true selves
Or maybe they are more worse off than any one of us.

Someone once told me everyone is with an excess baggage. I was afraid to let anyone know I do have one, I am now waiting for another to show me whats theirs.
I have to pay my dues
I have to cope with work
I have to struggle with stress
I have to deal with my crazy personalities
I am just like you and any other person.

Reshuffling

Changed a new CPU recently. Busy with work as usual. Chinese New year passed by like a breeze and now its Feb. Mmm.. Basically I'm in a love & hate situation with my work. Its gonna be a long story so I guess I will save it for another day. But the story I'm gonna tell now is a true life account that happened to me while I was at work.

(Owner is an uncle)
Me: I'm sorry we can't fix up ur car if the insurance can't approve the payout to our company. Maybe you can speak to ur insurer?
Owner: Who is the person in charge of my case? Maybe I can speak to her directly.
Me: Ok. Her name is Catherine. You can call her at XXXXXXXX
Owner: Battery? Her name is Battery ar?
Me: No. Its CATHERINE.
Owner: Ok. Battery. The car battery.
Hysterical Me: OK. you can call her battery. Make sure she approve ur claim and we will fix ur car, ok?

Thanks, uncle, for making my day.

My knees are weak
I am having diarrhea til my anus bleeds.

Running.... a fever

Having a lousy weekend. First is I have been diagnosed with a permanent sinus, which is probably my cat's the culprit. Then came a major flu and now with a fever. Eyes are burning, head is heavy and body is aching. I need some pity please. Can I lean on somebody? It rhymes! Damn it. Its the flu season. I caught the bug.

Did you know?
I don't know.
How can you not know?
Because I don't wanna know.
Why should I know?
Because everybody knows.
So?
You have to know.
Just shut up.

You killed me.
Is it?
Yes
How?
Your words.
Really?
Are you hurt?
No. I just died.

Bad Resolution

How can one lost the handphone and still try to sleep with someone else? Get a life. Or maybe just slutz in progress. Lame. Expect to get pity? Or a "helping hand"? This world is just full of shit. Pissed. Ok, Its the new year & I survived it. Drank a bottle of Bombay Gin. Headache was not so bad. Its a tradition for me to get really fucked up on festive season. Its a damn curse which I can't shake off. But! I did! I kept my cool & tolerated shit, like pple got fucked up & I got annoyed. I kept it. So slowly the night went. Drink drank drunk, drank drink drunk, drunk drink drank. I suppose this is a good year for me already. Its just another year. So resolution? How abt something for a change? I hope i can be a bitch, be less sane, be insensitive, more selfish, heck all responsibilities, have fun, go clubs, get hooked up with someone else or many other someone else, get more drunk.The solution to the world. Then maybe pple will get to notice me. Ha. No, seriously, i want to lose some weight. Maybe treat myself better. If i can be the above, i dun mind too. Heh.