1cent worth

-humans should stop thinking how great they are. It's sickening-

Everyone wants to, not just think how great they are. Students wanting to get the highest grades, ah tiongs coming to Sgp, maybe not just ah tiongs, many other different countrymen come to Sgp, the filipinos, banglasdeshi, vietnamese, malaysians,  thinking how great the country is. Singaporeans thinks they are greater by chasing and complaining abt how the foreigners polluting the country soil. So who is the greatest? The one whom I thought is the greatest is dead. The one who had nothing is the greatest. The one who sees everyone as equal is the greatest. She, who cared for the sick and wanted a life for everyone, not a lifestyle that everyone wants to live. Who, is able to do that? Who, would want to stop for a while and think why we humans are behaving like that? Why are we different and yet ostracize one another? Because they want to be greater than the other. They buy better cars, better houses, earn more money because they want to be greater than others. I myself, am in love with a miu miu bag now. Maybe when I get that, I will be greater than you because I have it. And I am just human, like everyone else. It's sickening. Those who want to be great and trying very hard to be one is more sickening.

That's my comment. If you see this, its too long to post on fb.

Listening to yourself can freak you out sometimes.

A road less travelled means you're gonna have bruises, cuts or even fractures. When you are whining about a tiny sand blown into your eye on a well lit paved road, I couldn't be bothered. I am annoyed actually, with your whining.

Emo quote: The only permanent marriage is only with death. Until then, it will never part.

Selfish

As we were younger, we wish to gain recognition from our parents or our elders. We know our parents are the ones who will give unconditional love to us. I grew up with a single parent. I was left with my guardian. My guardian and my cousins. My cousins were way older and they have their own kids. Parents always want the best for their children. Because thats all they have got. Their flesh and blood. My cousins fetch them from school, brought them to toy'r'us, bought them the latest toys, the latest fashion wear. They will feel proud when their children did well in school and that they will be able to tell other people how well their children had done. When they are living with their 'perfect' life, I was the extra. I would be the one carrying the grocery bags while they were carrying their babies. I would be the one that wore the unwanted clothes my cousins would throw but find that its a waste. I knew I couldn't get the attention and the love from them as they are ultimately not my family and never will be. I, was the outcast. I was fat (and still is) and had the lowest self esteem. My only cupboard of clothes was in a apple carton you see in the market. Nobody listened to me. They were busy leading their wonderful lives. I grew with envy but never hatred. Life, was a long way to go. Life, was different without parents showering me with the attention. Life, was selfish. I wasn't acting pathetic because I don't want to. I wanted to break away from all the negative thoughts but didn't know how to. My life wasn't like Oliver twist though cos I was fat. When everyone had their dinner and the leftovers were to be thrown, My guardian would force me to finish up even though I didn't want to. So, its not as obvious as ill-treating. Ha. I, grew up. I, grew up keeping my distance with my guardian, my relatives. I knew I wouldn't die without their love. I just blamed myself why was I in a broken family. I had anger management issues in school. I had no friends. I never sought help, (I think if I did, I maybe labeled Bipolar, haha)
And that was my history and its all the past. I'm happy now, never been happier.

So I learnt, Life, be selfish.
Mother Theresa will be labeled as Gong Kia. She was famous because no one could do wat she did. Nobody wants to be as stupid as she was. Be bloody selfish! I want to be selfish! Grrr!!

Have you realised that maybe the people around you, your friends didn't change. It is you who have changed. I felt a tinge of sadness. Maybe I did change. I grew up. Different people made different choices and have different experiences. I could have been worst. Be it in character or behaviour. I could have been self-centred, unreasonable, erratic or even narcistic. I am glad I didn't. Because all those doesn't matter anymore.

Finally I brought the backpack home.. I asked pa the backpack nice or not, he said " you want to become peace already. " I asked him what is peace? He said (lao)老 hippies. So backpacking trip is for 老 hippies...

Everyday anyday.

Its been 2 days. My fridge has papaya, honeydew, grapes, mangoes and oranges. 1st day I asked pa, got apples not? He said don't have. 2nd day after dinner, I asked pa again. Why no apples? He has been eating oranges every night. Then he said " No teeth how to eat?!" Now I know why he keep eating oranges cos he can't eat apples!. =S

She said she read my blog recently.. I was like its so long time ago since I last posted. Then she asked me if I'm ok... Like huh? She asked if I am self-emoing. I am not currently and wasn't emo-ing since the last post. So maybe now I get it. When I emo, I blog. Maybe when I am disappointed with humans, I blog. But that doesn't change anything. I'm tired. Really. I will be just here, all the time, complaining. Right now I'm just happy. Quietly watching what humans are up to on their longest sleeves..

I heard a rumour!

I heard a rumour saying that you only befriend the rich and not the poor.
I heard a rumour that you only wear the branded and don't eat at coffeeshops.
I heard a rumour that you are a fucking racist., calling others by the color.
I heard a rumour you are in debt and still wanna act like a rich kid.
I heard a rumour that you think too highly of yourself.
Rumours build up your character. Rumours tells me what kind of person you are. Rumours are sometimes true. Rumours are so intriguing that people always like to hear. Rumours has it that you are worthless as a friend. I'm lucky I'm not your friend. I never owe anything to you as a friend and never will as I believe being friends, there is no need to be calculative.

And I go OoMmm..

Power Yoga makes my arms sour.

Namaste.

Angels Talk

Abd Mubarak was on his way to Mecca when one night he dreamed that he was in heaven and heard two angels having a conversation.
“How many pilgrims came to the holy city this year?” one of them asked.
“Six hundred thousand”, answered the other.
“And how many of them had their pilgrimage accepted?”
“None of them. However, in Baghdad there is a shoemaker called Ali Mufiq who did not make the pilgrimage, but did have his pilgrimage accepted, and his graces benefited the 600,000 pilgrims”.
When he woke up, Abd Mubarak went to Mufiq’s shoe shop and told him his dream.
“At great cost and much sacrifice, I finally managed to get 350 coins together”, the shoemaker said in tears. “But then, when I was ready to go to Mecca I discovered that my neighbors were hungry, so I distributed the money among them and gave up my pilgrimage”.

Paulo Coelho

BUDGET CORNER

Everything costs money. The food you eat, the clothes you wear. Everything comes with a price. The more expensive it is the better. People will think the money they spent was well worth it. The branded cars, the gadgets they carry, the bags they bought. It gives them the mind to think that's they are of a higher status. It's called materialism. They worked really hard for it to maintain the lush lifestyle they felt were better off than what they did not have in the past. They will also work doubly hard to be even better off than what they currently have now. It's called discontentment. How does one truly be happy? How does one truly UNDERSTAND being in poverty also does have happiness? How does one BELIEVE contentment brings joy to the tiniest thing that has happened, be it good or bad? Have FAITH and TRUST that life, is celebrated on its own, not by products.
How about buying a friendship?.
How much is a friendship? 5years worth of time is maybe much more worthy compared to 10yrs. It's quite worthless because it depreciates over time. First impression is always the most expensive because one has to do up all the superficial presentation one can get. As the friendship proceed in years, there's basically nothing to be shown. Since the friendship now becomes free, one can be free to betray, free to exploit or even free to reign the friendship over one's benefit. Manouvering this friendship to one's favour. If it doesn't work out, make more new friends and be merry! We are rich anyway! Years wasn't the issue, the issue is ; one's words can kill years of friendship. Words are free by the way. Freedom of speech. Freedom to choose your friendship. How much does yours cost?

Another blablablah

Things happen for a reason and the reason is for you to learn and experience what you've been through and reflect on yourself whether have you grown to a better person or worse. I believe when people grow older, they become wiser cos they have seen and experience quite abit.
For those who didn't, its either they are in denial of being old, or they are just plain ignorant.
For those who think they seen alot, they don't cos they haven't seen death. They will never learn becos they think they have learnt all.
And those who are so in love with themselves, they don't realise that the people around don't love them at all. How much do you know yourself and how much do you not know that you are actually a pain in the ass? You actually don't know at all because everything else is about you and not others. How pathetic it can be to be just you and you alone.

Life, is just a one time play. Fuck it up and enjoy.

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others, including Love.

One day, it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean.  So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.

Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.

Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, 'Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?'  Richness answered, 'I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere.'

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, 'Vanity, help me please.' 'I can't help you', Vanity said, 'You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat.'

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, 'Sadness, please let me go with you.' Sadness answered, 'Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now.'

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, ' Happiness, please take me with you.' But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, 'Come Love, I will take you with me.' It was an elder.  Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name.

When they arrived on land, the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, 'Who was it that helped me?' 'It was Time', Knowledge answered. 'But why did Time help me when no one else would?', Love asked.

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, 'Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.'

Open letter to God

Dear God,
What kind of men/women attract you? If its the fatal attraction, I guess you have to take them with you. They must be good in order to catch your eye. They must so good that they need not have to suffer anymore on earth. Amongst all the confusion on earth, battling with the good and evil, you took the good ones. As we always say, the good always die young. If I were to die soon, am I considered good? Will I die with regrets? Do I not suffer the process of dying? Do I not see the sadness on my loved ones? If you take me away, should I feel happy? My life, is it in Your hands?

Open letter to the Fallen

Dear Fallen,
Why do you always like to recruit the earthlings? You conquered hell, and now earth is part of it too. What are you trying to achieve? Is all this part of a strategic game? A recruitment exercise? You made us suffer and now you come in full force. I guess the worst is yet to come. I guess there is no one else except us. So heartache, is it Your emotion or Gods? For Trust is God's and Deception Yours. In the end, its still between You and Him. If Good and Evil, Right and Wrong goes hand in hand, why the fight? If its the choosing that made the difference, then you are the clever one. you want us to suffer with You, so that You won't be lonely. When are you done with the mind games?

Writer's Block.
Tell you a secret, I am better off without you.

Thinking.
Years of living, what have you learnt?
Trying not to get to affected about people's actions and their insensitivity but,
they still get to me.
Friendship,
What benefits?
Years of it, so what?
.
I'm sick.
Sick of you.
Not once, not twice but many other times.
How can you be so bias?
.
Some things will never change. When you are judging others, look yourself in the mirror.

Forgiveness

Is the greatest act more than anything else. The amount of anger, pain, hurt, distress and the hatred all boils down to are you willing to let go. Gone with the wind. It probably can make you a better person. If you can forgive, then why not forget? There are better happy memories than to keep re-enact the bitter ones.It's not easy cos we are after all, humans. From the bottom of your heart, it might set you free.

Storytelling

I once told a friend; No matter how much money you have lost, you can always earn it back. No matter what things you have lost, you can always buy it back. The only one thing is you see the true colors of a person, its priceless.

Stalker on the loose..Hahaha!!

Was taking the train to work yesterday and i saw the new advert in the train...

And immediately my mind comes to....

Hahahaha!

My First days of 2010

My First days of 2010

First customer of the year is a couple from HK. Talk abt overseas. Resident DJ from Club Volar which he said was the most talked abt club in HK. Maybe I should pay a visit.. Heh.
My bigger pelican case for my precious.
My first awesomeness sennheiser earphones!
My first pair of bright orange nike air force one!
My first club membership: Mustafa Club Membership! Ha!

 

 

 

Everything is just within my reach. How convenient.It gonna be a very good year indeed! Wahahaha!

Wendys

Random

The amount of pple in the train during christmas season.

I'm still loving it though.

 

 

 

 

Heart this. =)

Last years xmas pressie.

Boyfriend and Girlfriend

The 3somes..

And finally.... my precious.

Events, events, events.

Firstly, a joyous occasion...

Then, its my princess fi...

After that, our little outing... shot by "The Couple"

Notice the giant mentos... here comes the rest of my giant candies...

 

and a tiny mini chup...

Finally, prawning with the pros...

Cockporn = Popcorn...

~The End~

Pictures^^

The famous Black Pig dinner with gf.

My neighbour's VERY FAT cat and another
weird looking munchkin.

And my VERY FIRST PLAYBOY magazine!!!
The one that i always wanted! Woohoo!!

My hot sexy mama!

You're just walking on the surface to be seen. Step in deep enough and you will just see you're just as ugly as yourself. That is why you will always remain shallow.

You will never know wat others are talking abt you. People can say you are manipulative, a great actor, entertainer, a bimbo, big fat liar, a cheat, a player, a hypocrite, a watever fuck ass you are. It doesn't concern me. With or without you, my life will still go on. No one lives the way like you do because everyone is fucking different. So please, you either step in, or get out. Thanks for the time.

childhood days...

Magic Fingers

Quotes I wrote in my notebook but i dunno where is it from.

You are looking at a chess board. Is there anything you can't see? No. But are you guaranteed to win? Not at all, because you can't see what the other guy is thinking.

The more you wanna know everything, the more you get imprisoned by the idea. You get locked in, but you can never know everything.

It is our own mental attitude which makes the world what it is for us. Our thoughts makes things beautiful, it can make things ugly. The whole world is in our minds.

Pre-judging is a kiss of death.

Celebrate!

The Fat Mama finally gave birth to some fries today! Such joyous occasion! =)

FUCK YOU VERY MUCH

Books~~

I've read quite a number of books lately. Done with Totto Chan and Yakuza Moon. I've also started to re-read some of the books i had on Paulo Coelho. It makes me feel so different each time i read his books. Brida, The fifth Mountain and currently, The Witch of PortoBello. I'm so gonna make his books complete. His words, his sensitivity.. Marvellous.

Sweetest Karma

Someone kept whining abt me not posting anything up for these days cos i am sick of ranting all those things that get to me yet i cant do anything abt it. So for once i am gonna so blog how " happiness" i am in now. Fuck the future although this whole relationship is gonna rip me apart years or even months later. How cynical.

Thanks for the sweetest chrysanthemum you have ever made for me.
Holding your hands made me realise how lucky i am to have you by my side.
Resting on your shoulder made me feel that i have someone to depend on.
Sleeping next to you made me feel so secured.
Kissing you made me feel loved.
Hugging you made me feel whole again.
Whatever it is, thanks for accepting who i am, not the person you want me to be.
And I am changing because of you
You made me feel proud of myself and
You are my happiness plate!
LOVES!!

Gandhi, my friend.

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind".

"It has always been easier to destroy than to create".

"There are many causes that I am prepared to die for but no causes that I am prepared to kill for".

“Whenever, we hurt some other living being through our thought, utterance or action under non-cordial stipulation and non-apt learning, such an impure spirit or act of destroying life of some other one, including the impure tendency, utterance or presuming, is taken to be full of vice of violence. In such a situation, even if there is no sort of violence externally, it intrinsically remains a tendency of violence.”
As a situation opposite to violence is non-violence, we can firmly state, “Total non-violence consists in not hurting some other one’s intellect, speech or action per own thought, utterance or deeds and not to deprive some one of his life.” We can clearly say this in a few words as follows: Abstinence in toto from violence is non-violence.

Gandhi believed that all humans are susceptible to sinful actions and behaviour, and the worst of dictators were essentially the same despite the difference in their lives, beliefs and actions. Despite this, he held firmly that humans had no right to punish each other. He believed punishment to be the responsibility of God.

Some might say, in this dog eat dog world, what he does won't help. He will be bullied, taken advantage of and worst, labeled as a loser.

Being a winner means getting in front of everybody. Earning the most money, being the clever one, a top salesman, staying competive you might say. Thats the fighting spirit. But what have you gained? Its hard work being the top, and you have to maintain the ever stressful lifestyle you are having. Look around you. Slow down. Use your eyes to see. I would say being Gandhi then its hard work. Because he is different.

Be the change you want to see in the world. Thats you.

Yeh!

Finally, went to Ikea Tampines yesterday and swimming!! But i guess after swimming, i ate more than I swam for. Went a lil shopping and bought a few things and yes, my darling changed a new look for me which I absolutely lurve it!! Thanks alot.
The first time we had Subway together. Yum Yum.
Happy Happy Happy! Small lil things that make you happy, if its big ones, it will make you exhilarated!

Jodi Picoult's review

My first Jodi Picoult Change of Heart. Ripped off from Stephen King's The Green Mile. Such disappointment. I always thought Jodi Picoult is quite a good author. Haiz.. Read the first 3 chapters and realised its all so similar to The Green Mile, which is one of my fave shows. Where is the creativity? But I have to finish it up cos that is the only book i have on my hands.  Accept it. Or should I pout and keep blaming the author for lack of imagination? Faster read finish and get over it, get a new book. Am looking forward to Toto Chan's The Little Girl At The Window and Shoko Tendo's Yakuza Moon.

Recommended: The Lost Boy by Dave Pelzer.

Thanks for being a friend. Nothing more. I think i've done enough. Love, limitations. I've reached it.

Everythimg Everything just falls into place with you!

Eh, stupid!! FUCK OFF!! Stop terrorizing other people!!

Testing, got sound not?

Some people are just mentally unsound and they love to make those who are perfectly normal to be like them. So they think they are the special ones. They live in their own little perfect world that no one understands. It is ever so tiring and waste of time. After all, you are nothing but a speck of dust. Wherever you go, you don't belong. So please, just sit one corner and be quiet. Don't bother explaining cos no one will wanna listen to a crazy person. And another thing, crazy people got no friends. They only got oneself and "the other friends" from the perfect world. Unfortunately, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE who is the scriptwriter, the director and the actress. Normal people can't act as brilliantly as you. Stop recruiting people and ask them to pay their respects to you, crazy bitch.

Ignorance is your new best friend.

If I'm a bad person,
You don't like me.
Well I guess I'll make my own way,
It's the circle,
A mean cycle.
I can't excite you anymore.
Where's your gavel, your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me,
Well sentence me to another life.

Don't wanna hear your sad songs.
I don't wanna feel your pain,

When you swear it's all my fault.
Cause you know we're not the same.
Yeah!
We're not the same
Yeah!
No we're not the same,

Yeah, The friends who stuck together.
We wrote our names in blood,

But I guess you can't accept that the change is good,
It's good
It's good

Well You treat me just like another stranger.
Well it's nice to meet you sir.
I guess I'll go.
I best be on my way out.

Ignorance is your new best friend.
Ignorance is your new best friend.

This is the best thing that could've happened.
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it.
It's not a war.
No, it's not a rapture.
I'm just a person, but you can't take it,
The same tricks that, that once fooled me.
They won't get you anywhere.
I'm not the same kid from your memory.
Well, Now I can fend for myself.

How much ar?

How much is it worth for a friendship?
Its either priceless or worthless.
I am poor, so a friend to me is priceless because I have no money to buy them over.
I am rich, so a friend to me is worthless because I have all the money in the world, why would i care to lose a friend or two? I could always gain a few more with money.

Life is nothing but a stage.

ma⋅nip⋅u⋅late  /məˈnɪpyəˌleɪt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [muh-nip-yuh-leyt] Show IPA
Use manipulative in a Sentence
See web results for manipulative
See images of manipulative
–verb (used with object), -lat⋅ed, -lat⋅ing. 1. to manage or influence skillfully, esp. in an unfair manner: to manipulate people's feelings.

Salut to those fantabulous actors and actresses! You have won nothing but a lifetime of deceit and self-centredness. You have learnt to be selfish and do things that has your own gain. In case you didn't know, you do have alot of friends, friends with benefits so that you don't lose out. You won't be lonely because you will find friends that will entertain you. Best of all, you have learnt the art of manipulation and that everyone owes you and not other way round. You will always find that you are the centre of attraction and that the glorious light is shining upon you. How wonderful life can be when you have achieve the skill of a lifetime? It comes in a package. Once you have the skill, i bet you also know how to be hypocritical.

hyp⋅o⋅crite  /ˈhɪpəkrɪt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [hip-uh-krit] Show IPA
Use hypocritical in a Sentence
See web results for hypocritical
See images of hypocritical
–noun 1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.
2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements believe his or her public statements.

To always be a Golden Horse award winner, you must always be in the limelight so that people remember you. Your character must be deeply imprinted into peoples' hearts. You must let people know that you are presentable, interesting and clever. Everyone will have full of fun when hanging out with you. Most of all, you MUST have someone's dirty lil secret that people love to hear. The truth always hurts, so its better to hear lies, lies and more lies.

Next will be to be a victim of all situations that is not in favour of you.

vic⋅tim⋅ize  /ˈvɪktəˌmaɪz/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [vik-tuh-mahyz] Show IPA
Use victimised in a Sentence
See web results for victimised
See images of victimised
–verb (used with object), -ized, -iz⋅ing. 1. to make a victim of.
2. to dupe, swindle, or cheat: to victimize poor widows.
3. to slay as or like a sacrificial victim.

The world always want to help the weak to show that they are full of love and sympathy. They will take pity of you and show you the care and concern that you needed. So this is the high time to rape them of this emotion and win them on your side. And yes, you gain more friends again. Oh You poor lil thing.. Ultimately, you have won! Congrats! Everything is as easy as ABC, 123! Kudos!!

YOU PISS ME OFF.

*STOP BEING TOO FULL OF YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE A FOOL YOURSELF.

Am I not doing enough as a friend? You love to say that I don't think before I say anything. What abt you? Everyone have their pride, the words you said hurt people sometimes. As a friend, I don't want to be petty and create a scene. Have you ever put yourself in my shoes and think how i felt? Just because I'm keeping quiet doesn't mean you right all the time. So, am i an easier target for you to vent your anger on? Or am i too tolerant towards you as a friend? If you're unhappy abt me, let me know. Don't get other pple involved. I guess taking things for granted and not being appreciative is you. How I have tolerated your shortcomings and flaws just because thats who you are. You are a friend. I accommodated your fussiness, your complaints, you being a princess. PLEASE, respect your friends. You are not living in this world alone. Before you point your finger to anyone, know your stand and see whether are you perfect? I am not your dog, you don't own me. You, have a great life. Continue being sheltered and live in your shell. Thank you.

*If you're so quick to judge others, why don't you judge yourself first?

*If you think you are good, there's always someone better. So don't think too highly of yourself.

*If you haven't experienced what other people have been thru, please shut up.

*Like I said 93640293248740 times, you are nothing and you talk too much. Pls shut up and listen to what you are saying. If it doesn't benefit others, zip it.

Another Death...

Is it contagious? When are they taking me then? Its so easy to die, and so tough for those who are still alive. Its my 3rd time going for those wakes this year, and it got me this time. My 3rd uncle whom has been close to my dad all these while, gone just like that. He will always shout to my dad 'Apek!, Ada kena tak?!' when he come over our place. Talking abt 4D.. My dad lost a brother and a good friend. I am upset. My dad is upset. Well, its another family matter, with alot of mouths talking, as always. What do they really know? Will they die if they don't talk? He's already dead.

To those who never hear it from me

gossip:  /ˈgɒsəp/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [gos-uhp] Show IPA noun, verb, -siped or -sipped, -sip⋅ing or -sip⋅ping.
–noun 1. idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others:

If you have so much time to idle, why dun you think of a way to stop being a parasite? Think of why your mum give birth to you but instead of minding your own business, you are minding others instead? Your mum should give birth to a piece of char siew, at least still can eat. If you are worst than a piece of char siew, you are better off dead.

Alrite! the main announcement for today is IT WAS MY GREAT GRANDMA WHO PASSED AWAY. The wake was at Blk 79 Toa Payoh Central. She was 95. Her name is Mdm Lee Hit Kaw. I didn't know the paparazzi would be so damn freaking interested to know. I would gladly send some of the death certs for verification if they needed one. And by the way, I din ask my great grams to die on a weekend. Or maybe if i have a choice, i should have asked her to die on a weekday so as not to cause a big hoohaa cos its a fucking weekend. The latest news is there will be picking up of my great grams bones later today at 2pm at Mandai Crematorium Hall 3. You won't be able to catch me there cos i have to fucking work. Those who are so interested to know might drop by and ask my relatives if I have been at the wake for the last 2 days. No need to buy offerings cos my great grams is a christian. Thanks. Those who send their regards, i really appreciate it. Those who doesn't, i don't really give a fuck. Just shut your trap.

If you have all the money in the world, you are the devil.

Hi, How are you?

Dear friend,

If i tell you how you have failed me as a friend, be it your character, your attitude, your everything, how you are so inperfect in my eyes, will you still be my friend? No one is perfect. So please do not set such fucking high standards on who are your friends and who are not cos you are not that great either. Thanks.

Killing you would be so much easier for me cos u are causing too much trouble for other pple. Causing too much trouble for me. Killing you will solve everything. If you wanna make amendments, please kill yourself.

Once upon a time, donkeys came out and play!

You are nothing but a living organism in this earth waiting to die.
You are nothing but people make believe that you are something or maybe somebody.
You are just wasting your time.
You think you are something, but you are nothing.
What makes you think you are the best?
You are just a piece of shit.
You disgust me.

Your mercy makes me weak
Your kindness makes me grateful
Your love makes me whole
Forgive me for I've done You wrong
Forgive me for I've cast You aside
Forgive me for I've never treasured You
But I know You never left my side
Quietly You watch me
For You know when I fall, I will call for You
I will cry for You
And You will always be there
To let me know You will never leave
Then I know, I'm nothing without You
I'm worthless without You
Then I know I can't live without You..

Perfect Love

Funny how u wanted the person to be the one perfect person that you always imagined, that you can love, how wonderful with no shortcomings, no faults and full of love. But things are not wat it seems to be. Love, is perfect, but not people. I want to fall in love, can i be perfect?

XX: Eh, your car got cockroaches leh.
XXX: how come?
XX: Dunno leh.
XXX: Ok lor, when u come back then sell the car.
Me: .....

One song about a girl
I can't breathe when I'm around her
I'll wait here everyday
In case she'll scratch the surface
She'll never notice

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

Last night I knew what to say
But you weren't there to hear it
These lines so well rehearsed
Tongue tied and overloaded
You never notice

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

I'm not in love
This is not your song
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

To be loved, to be loved
What more could you ask for
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone wants
To be loved, to be loved
What more could you ask for
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone...

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

I'm not in love
This is not your song
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

Make It Mine

I so wanna kiss you!!

To whoever

How funny to see your friend give up so easily when you actually been thru the bottomless pit and up. It makes you feel like giving up too. No matter what happens, you will never die. It makes you feel so much worst than dying. Thats the best part of it. Being a coward of not falling in love again and afraid of being hurt. How much tears you cried, we are just human. We are not perfect. Choosing of hurting others or just waiting to be hurt. We have to go thru this cycle over and over again. When are we gonna be clever?

I'm blessed with some good friends, having a good time and i met the most beautiful smile today. =)

Zonked out

I've been having strange tots when I'm zonked out recently. I'm wondering if i was already dead and the scenario keeps repeating itself cos when you are near death, the scenario will not change. Everything seems quiet. The nights i have spent were the quietest of them all as though i was in a vacuum. I'm getting psychotic.

thew nia seng says:
i can fuck very well but i dun tok well in front of girls
thew nia seng says:
do u think i will get girls

chrisgan says:
life is sometimes unfair
chrisgan says:
without reason
chrisgan says:
why other can up and up
chrisgan says:
for no reason?
chrisgan says:
mayb cos he is hansome?
chrisgan says:
she is pretty?
chrisgan says:
nothing is 100% wat u wan

Over

I'm having mental block on my own damn blog. Things happened and passed by too quickly, before I can remember anything else, I've forgotten everything else. I've been stuffing myself with food recently and maybe I should post up my pornographic photos to make people sick. People make me sick anyway. It comes along with piss sometimes. I'm looking for a great entertainer.

my mario...

Flickering lights on trains, Beautiful graffitti on the walls. I'm close to madness. I want it all.

I'D GIVE UP EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. WOULD YOU DO THE SAME?

Just shut up.

I've got no mood to blog recently although i have thousand and one things to write abt. Communications equals complications indeed when words are passed around freely like nobodys business. You are not liable for the words anyway. Who cares? Before you put your finger to anyone, kindly pls take a look at yourself. If you got nothing kind to say, pls shut the fuck up. Thank you.
Stepping other people down to make yourself look good will only make you uglier.

No matter what happens
Keep journey on
I’m holding back the tears
From falling down

Someday we’ll both know
How clever life is
No matter how bitter
It is a meaningful lesson

Hopefully, your absence
Will not change anything
Hopefully, I can overcome
My loneliness

Someday we’ll both know
How clever life is
No matter how bitter
It is a meaningful lesson

Calling for Superman.

Dear Superman,

Please save me. i want to be like you. I want to date you. You can bring me go fly and let me feel safe. You must know how i feel and understand wat I am going thru. Because you are SUPERMAN.

A Beautiful Lie

The originals

This world is a fake. Even your love might not be genuine. Wat are you looking for then?

Deadly Dengue

Winning 4D also not so accurate. How unlucky is that? Damn suay big time. Sick of getting sick. Didn't go work for one whole week. How waste of time is that? *ROAR* The feeling is worst than death and i am scared of hospital. You will never know wat will happen in the night. I have to cancel my appts, stay at home and feel sick. How nice.

猫 Again

Me: Pa, 你看，白色的猫很cute hor?
Pa: 不好看啦。很像 lebbit. 猫，要有猫的颜色才好看。
Me: Then, 猫的颜色是什么？
Pa: 黑色咯。
Me: Smiling and thinking(Cool.)

Funeral

Death, is inevitable. Life, you lived for so long, wasn't wat we are waiting for? In the meantime, wat have we accomplished? Will you live ur life in regrets of all the things u haven't do? Or you think that death can come anytime cos you are prepared? You have lived thru all the feelings that you can feel, the things you have said and done. Its all became a legacy.

Death, its a release from this sickening world.
Guess you are going to a place better than here.

Expectations

Everyone has a certain expectations regardless of anything. Will life be easier if you dun expect? If you dun live up to the person's expectations? I guess life won't be easier.It will be BETTER, not EASIER if you have expectations. So, good luck. pushing your limitations. I'm getting restless these days. I'm like a dog chasing its own tail.

*Getting too close can lead to suffocation.

Boss said..

Boss: I am not in love with you, I am in love with money.
Me: (dumbfounded)

Thats wat every boss's mindset is.
Its not that i dun wanna improve, its just that i wasn't given a chance. I'm not giving up yet.

Going away...

My stalker is going to HK for a few days... I am free!!! When she comes back, i'm gonna stalk her for pressies! =)

Its getting mouldy..

So here comes a post.. Finally got my lower arm filled up. The excruciating pain.. Total hours spent was 13hours for 3 sessions. No pictures will be posted. Interested applicants, pls meet up with me. Heh.. Anywayz, i think i will heal for a very long time till my skin is craving for pain. Ha. I'm getting lethargic recently. I need a short holiday... Bleh!

苦瓜有没有吃猫？

Money minded

Somebody said to me "You will be addicted to it. Unless you like addictions."
I like addictions.
I am addicted.
To the impossibilities.
The unknown.
The cursed.

The importance of money.
Its very important.
You will never have enough of it.
Is it an addiction?
It became greed.
It makes you think highly of yourself.
How much is your self worth?
It makes you think nothing else matters.

Someone said " But you are rich in happiness"

I am not addicted to money.
I have nothing.
I am nothing.
I am happy.

Who are you?

Wedding!!

First time going to the church wedding, went with all excitement but turns out dead. The pastor sounds drunk, ha. Its romantic but its so dead serious. I felt like screaming with joy when lou said her vow. Woooohooo!!!, but then again, jac said you should respect the church. Screaming with joy doesn't mean not respecting. Its a joyous occasion! Then i told them, pls scream with joy and dun be dead serious when i get married. IF i have the chance, that is. Congrats Lou!

My fave photo










Spasticism acting up..

It gets me so high everytime..

Contradicting piece of shit.

I wish i have the power to knock some sense to some people. OR maybe i am the one that is senseless. I wish the things will turn out the way i wanted. But that won't be challenging. I wish i could be free, maybe i am keeping myself locked. I wish shallow people will just die, they just don't. I wish people will just show you a their heart and not pretend, but thats too much to ask. What if i say I'm not like the others? That will be just another piece of bullshit. Its neverending same old shit. Thats alot of shit. I have constipation.

请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
我别无选择

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意
(心还想着你)

再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
当我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
请你做选择

Narnia 2

It was a good movie. Watch carefully and decipher the meaning behind it.

West Coast Mc

We see each other occasionally and chatted on fone frequently, yet, we still hog on each others blogs. We are mad. Crazy. Cam whores.

Ben and Jerrys

Dublin Mudslide
Chocolate Fudge Brownie
New York Super Fudge Chunk
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Turtle Soup
Chunky Monkey

Current Flavor: Phish Food

when I say 'i am a christian.' i'm not shouting 'i'm living clean.' i'm whispering 'i was lost. now i'm found and forgiven.' when i say 'i am a christian.' i don't speak of this with pride. i'm confessing that i stumble. and need Christ to be my guide. when i say 'i am a christian. i'm not trying to be strong. i'm professing that i'm weak. and need His strength to carry on. when i say 'i am a christian.' i'm not bragging of success. i'm admitting i have failed. and need God to clean my mess. when i say 'i am a christian.' i'm not claiming to be perfect. my flaws are far too visible. but God believes i am worth it. when i say 'i am a christian.' i still feel the sting of pain. i have my share of heartaches. so i call upon His name. when i say 'i am a christian.' i'm not holier than thou. i'm just a simple sinner. who received God's good grace somehow. -unknown.

Teleconversation

Beng: Eh, you are contagious. I see you put eyeliner, i also put.
Me: Huh? you put eyeliner for wat?
Beng: Why cannot? You go ask jac. She saw me with eyeliner before. Become punk mah
Me: Then you got put accessories or not?
Beng: Dun have lah. You want me to poke people to death with spikes ar?
Me: I can vomit or not? You are butch leh.
Beng: I am not butch
Me: You wanna be girly girl?
Beng: I want to be girly - man
Me: ..........

Mario: 8 days a week
Mario: Wunday

Lalala..

Rode in to and fro JB today. Wat an experience! Acting kuku to all things that I haven't tried before. Although its not a near death experience, i am still treasuring my life when i keep saying that life seems worthless. How much pain can you tolerate? By the time i look back at all those small lil things i get upset about, its high time i do something else.

Someone i knew said i look more and more like a japanese. Ha. Just tell me i'm pretty. Being pretty is so shallow. I am shallow.

Someone close to me said i am thinking too much and all the things i think abt are irrelevant. I live in my own world. I am. There won't be another me you can ever find. So love me.

Another someone said that i am standing on the cliff with big strong winds blowing and i would catch a cold if i stay there for too long. I will find a smaller cliff to stand next time when i leave this one.

Flowers wither and die

Like you said, you won't die if you are without the person.
But the feeling is worst than dying.
The feeling of being still alive.
The struggle of keeping it sane.
Not losing out of control
All these makes dying so much easier.
Dying will be an easy option..

Dedication!

Especially to those to are out of love. Love yourself!

Love is.

Love = sacrifice
Love = hurt
Love = pain
Love = is not easy
Love = is a strong word
Love = is
Love = everything
Love = Shit
Its always humans who complicate things.

Angels and Devils