Your mercy makes me weak
Your kindness makes me grateful
Your love makes me whole
Forgive me for I've done You wrong
Forgive me for I've cast You aside
Forgive me for I've never treasured You
But I know You never left my side
Quietly You watch me
For You know when I fall, I will call for You
I will cry for You
And You will always be there
To let me know You will never leave
Then I know, I'm nothing without You
I'm worthless without You
Then I know I can't live without You..

Perfect Love

Funny how u wanted the person to be the one perfect person that you always imagined, that you can love, how wonderful with no shortcomings, no faults and full of love. But things are not wat it seems to be. Love, is perfect, but not people. I want to fall in love, can i be perfect?

XX: Eh, your car got cockroaches leh.
XXX: how come?
XX: Dunno leh.
XXX: Ok lor, when u come back then sell the car.
Me: .....

One song about a girl
I can't breathe when I'm around her
I'll wait here everyday
In case she'll scratch the surface
She'll never notice

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

Last night I knew what to say
But you weren't there to hear it
These lines so well rehearsed
Tongue tied and overloaded
You never notice

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

I'm not in love
This is not your song
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

To be loved, to be loved
What more could you ask for
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone wants
To be loved, to be loved
What more could you ask for
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone...

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

I'm not in love
This is not your song
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

Make It Mine

I so wanna kiss you!!

To whoever

How funny to see your friend give up so easily when you actually been thru the bottomless pit and up. It makes you feel like giving up too. No matter what happens, you will never die. It makes you feel so much worst than dying. Thats the best part of it. Being a coward of not falling in love again and afraid of being hurt. How much tears you cried, we are just human. We are not perfect. Choosing of hurting others or just waiting to be hurt. We have to go thru this cycle over and over again. When are we gonna be clever?

I'm blessed with some good friends, having a good time and i met the most beautiful smile today. =)

Zonked out

I've been having strange tots when I'm zonked out recently. I'm wondering if i was already dead and the scenario keeps repeating itself cos when you are near death, the scenario will not change. Everything seems quiet. The nights i have spent were the quietest of them all as though i was in a vacuum. I'm getting psychotic.

thew nia seng says:
i can fuck very well but i dun tok well in front of girls
thew nia seng says:
do u think i will get girls

chrisgan says:
life is sometimes unfair
chrisgan says:
without reason
chrisgan says:
why other can up and up
chrisgan says:
for no reason?
chrisgan says:
mayb cos he is hansome?
chrisgan says:
she is pretty?
chrisgan says:
nothing is 100% wat u wan

Over

I'm having mental block on my own damn blog. Things happened and passed by too quickly, before I can remember anything else, I've forgotten everything else. I've been stuffing myself with food recently and maybe I should post up my pornographic photos to make people sick. People make me sick anyway. It comes along with piss sometimes. I'm looking for a great entertainer.

my mario...

Flickering lights on trains, Beautiful graffitti on the walls. I'm close to madness. I want it all.

I'D GIVE UP EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. WOULD YOU DO THE SAME?

Just shut up.

I've got no mood to blog recently although i have thousand and one things to write abt. Communications equals complications indeed when words are passed around freely like nobodys business. You are not liable for the words anyway. Who cares? Before you put your finger to anyone, kindly pls take a look at yourself. If you got nothing kind to say, pls shut the fuck up. Thank you.
Stepping other people down to make yourself look good will only make you uglier.

No matter what happens
Keep journey on
I’m holding back the tears
From falling down

Someday we’ll both know
How clever life is
No matter how bitter
It is a meaningful lesson

Hopefully, your absence
Will not change anything
Hopefully, I can overcome
My loneliness

Someday we’ll both know
How clever life is
No matter how bitter
It is a meaningful lesson

Calling for Superman.

Dear Superman,

Please save me. i want to be like you. I want to date you. You can bring me go fly and let me feel safe. You must know how i feel and understand wat I am going thru. Because you are SUPERMAN.

A Beautiful Lie

The originals

This world is a fake. Even your love might not be genuine. Wat are you looking for then?

Deadly Dengue

Winning 4D also not so accurate. How unlucky is that? Damn suay big time. Sick of getting sick. Didn't go work for one whole week. How waste of time is that? *ROAR* The feeling is worst than death and i am scared of hospital. You will never know wat will happen in the night. I have to cancel my appts, stay at home and feel sick. How nice.

猫 Again

Me: Pa, 你看，白色的猫很cute hor?
Pa: 不好看啦。很像 lebbit. 猫，要有猫的颜色才好看。
Me: Then, 猫的颜色是什么？
Pa: 黑色咯。
Me: Smiling and thinking(Cool.)

Funeral

Death, is inevitable. Life, you lived for so long, wasn't wat we are waiting for? In the meantime, wat have we accomplished? Will you live ur life in regrets of all the things u haven't do? Or you think that death can come anytime cos you are prepared? You have lived thru all the feelings that you can feel, the things you have said and done. Its all became a legacy.

Death, its a release from this sickening world.
Guess you are going to a place better than here.

Expectations

Everyone has a certain expectations regardless of anything. Will life be easier if you dun expect? If you dun live up to the person's expectations? I guess life won't be easier.It will be BETTER, not EASIER if you have expectations. So, good luck. pushing your limitations. I'm getting restless these days. I'm like a dog chasing its own tail.

*Getting too close can lead to suffocation.

Boss said..

Boss: I am not in love with you, I am in love with money.
Me: (dumbfounded)

Thats wat every boss's mindset is.
Its not that i dun wanna improve, its just that i wasn't given a chance. I'm not giving up yet.

Going away...

My stalker is going to HK for a few days... I am free!!! When she comes back, i'm gonna stalk her for pressies! =)

Its getting mouldy..

So here comes a post.. Finally got my lower arm filled up. The excruciating pain.. Total hours spent was 13hours for 3 sessions. No pictures will be posted. Interested applicants, pls meet up with me. Heh.. Anywayz, i think i will heal for a very long time till my skin is craving for pain. Ha. I'm getting lethargic recently. I need a short holiday... Bleh!

苦瓜有没有吃猫？

Money minded

Somebody said to me "You will be addicted to it. Unless you like addictions."
I like addictions.
I am addicted.
To the impossibilities.
The unknown.
The cursed.

The importance of money.
Its very important.
You will never have enough of it.
Is it an addiction?
It became greed.
It makes you think highly of yourself.
How much is your self worth?
It makes you think nothing else matters.

Someone said " But you are rich in happiness"

I am not addicted to money.
I have nothing.
I am nothing.
I am happy.

Who are you?

Wedding!!

First time going to the church wedding, went with all excitement but turns out dead. The pastor sounds drunk, ha. Its romantic but its so dead serious. I felt like screaming with joy when lou said her vow. Woooohooo!!!, but then again, jac said you should respect the church. Screaming with joy doesn't mean not respecting. Its a joyous occasion! Then i told them, pls scream with joy and dun be dead serious when i get married. IF i have the chance, that is. Congrats Lou!

My fave photo










Spasticism acting up..

It gets me so high everytime..

Contradicting piece of shit.

I wish i have the power to knock some sense to some people. OR maybe i am the one that is senseless. I wish the things will turn out the way i wanted. But that won't be challenging. I wish i could be free, maybe i am keeping myself locked. I wish shallow people will just die, they just don't. I wish people will just show you a their heart and not pretend, but thats too much to ask. What if i say I'm not like the others? That will be just another piece of bullshit. Its neverending same old shit. Thats alot of shit. I have constipation.

请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
我别无选择

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意
(心还想着你)

再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
当我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
请你做选择

Narnia 2

It was a good movie. Watch carefully and decipher the meaning behind it.

West Coast Mc

We see each other occasionally and chatted on fone frequently, yet, we still hog on each others blogs. We are mad. Crazy. Cam whores.

Ben and Jerrys

Dublin Mudslide
Chocolate Fudge Brownie
New York Super Fudge Chunk
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Turtle Soup
Chunky Monkey

Current Flavor: Phish Food

when I say 'i am a christian.' i'm not shouting 'i'm living clean.' i'm whispering 'i was lost. now i'm found and forgiven.' when i say 'i am a christian.' i don't speak of this with pride. i'm confessing that i stumble. and need Christ to be my guide. when i say 'i am a christian. i'm not trying to be strong. i'm professing that i'm weak. and need His strength to carry on. when i say 'i am a christian.' i'm not bragging of success. i'm admitting i have failed. and need God to clean my mess. when i say 'i am a christian.' i'm not claiming to be perfect. my flaws are far too visible. but God believes i am worth it. when i say 'i am a christian.' i still feel the sting of pain. i have my share of heartaches. so i call upon His name. when i say 'i am a christian.' i'm not holier than thou. i'm just a simple sinner. who received God's good grace somehow. -unknown.

Teleconversation

Beng: Eh, you are contagious. I see you put eyeliner, i also put.
Me: Huh? you put eyeliner for wat?
Beng: Why cannot? You go ask jac. She saw me with eyeliner before. Become punk mah
Me: Then you got put accessories or not?
Beng: Dun have lah. You want me to poke people to death with spikes ar?
Me: I can vomit or not? You are butch leh.
Beng: I am not butch
Me: You wanna be girly girl?
Beng: I want to be girly - man
Me: ..........

Mario: 8 days a week
Mario: Wunday

Lalala..

Rode in to and fro JB today. Wat an experience! Acting kuku to all things that I haven't tried before. Although its not a near death experience, i am still treasuring my life when i keep saying that life seems worthless. How much pain can you tolerate? By the time i look back at all those small lil things i get upset about, its high time i do something else.

Someone i knew said i look more and more like a japanese. Ha. Just tell me i'm pretty. Being pretty is so shallow. I am shallow.

Someone close to me said i am thinking too much and all the things i think abt are irrelevant. I live in my own world. I am. There won't be another me you can ever find. So love me.

Another someone said that i am standing on the cliff with big strong winds blowing and i would catch a cold if i stay there for too long. I will find a smaller cliff to stand next time when i leave this one.

Flowers wither and die

Like you said, you won't die if you are without the person.
But the feeling is worst than dying.
The feeling of being still alive.
The struggle of keeping it sane.
Not losing out of control
All these makes dying so much easier.
Dying will be an easy option..

Dedication!

Especially to those to are out of love. Love yourself!

Love is.

Love = sacrifice
Love = hurt
Love = pain
Love = is not easy
Love = is a strong word
Love = is
Love = everything
Love = Shit
Its always humans who complicate things.

Angels and Devils

Wala Wala

Went drinking last nite. I am so in love with live bands right now. 2 people drinking 2 jugs. Woohoo!! I wanna get married and create more problems, and more problems and more. Thats wat humans do. They wun be satisfied with their tiny lil lives. My mind will be churning for problems and getting myself fucked up and drink! Live, is so vulnerable. Humans, are so fucked up. Including me. Drink! To the death of all problems! Drink! To the the temporary high and ignorance! Stop thinking abt the unknown and live life the fucked up way it is now.

Everything

Finally Flyer!!

My sumptuous dinner!



My Flyer!!

My budds!








Your balcony?

One late nite at Changi T3, T2 and T1

Walking at the airport will cause your legs to break.
I really wanna leave this place. For good.

Definitely Maybe...

Joel: Do you have any feeback forms?
Waitress: (smiles) and walks away.
Joel: No, I'm serious!

Me: Please try the pork cutlet.
Beng: (bites) and spit out.
Beng: Can i have a toothbrush? the meat is stuck in my front teeth.
Beng: (shows teeth) got or not?

Again, the whole restaurant is just us and no one else. They are all just cabbages and brinjals. We laughed so loudly we dun even care.

The show was nice.
The happy ending was you.
I was touched. The rest are inhumane.

Me: You read my blog?
Joel: Yeah. You've been reading?
Me: (shocked) How you noe?
Joel: Cos can tell.
Joel: You shud read more and you will be surprised by the way you write.
Joel: Can become journalist.
Me: (thinking) Yeah rite.
I like the word journalist though.

Ho Seh Boh? Going Toa Payoh?

I meet you in Hell?

Went Serangoon gardens for a drink. Never been there before. I'm a tourist. I believe that when you do something different out of your ordinary life, it gives you a different energy. Although it might have been for another reason.

Me: Then I'm a hello kitty with no mouth.
Beng: (Stares)
Me: (Shake head)

Watever nonsense I can think of, I will say it to you. You will never expect wat comes out of my mouth next cos i am really full of nonsense.
I was reading my past posts and I was surprised abt wat i wrote abt life, abt work, abt friends, abt watever.

Ked: Cool piece of shit

Drink drank but not drunk. Just enough to forget one self. I can laugh as loudly as I want. I can be crazy if i want to. Too bad you are my friend.

I was draining myself out. Self indulgence. Love me.

Jac: There are thousands of different pple out there. You will never know wat the other person is like.

'Because life is not just black and white but the whole spectrum in between..'

So here comes the happiness, sadness, bitterness and watever your emotions may be..

Incapable of Love

When you are in a relationship, when you know its going nowhere, when you know this relationship is coming to an end, would you find someone else first so you won't get hurt that much? Did you just give up the relationship or the relationship gave up on you? What made you fall in love in the first place? Why you do love the person anyway? How the feelings fade away and yet you just let it go. Remember how you fought so hard to be in this relationship? Remember the tough times that you have been through just to be with the other person? The quarrels that made you cry, the joy that made you feel like you made the right choice, the bond that made you closer with her. Yet, you said ' Love, its better to let her go.' Happiness, if you are not capable of giving it to her, wat abt others?

Beer is all you need when u think the party sucked. Everything else doesn't matter anymore..

Ifuckingthinkthatiamacoward.Youwillneverseetheothersideofme.Dunjudgemebymyappearance.Seeingisnotfuckingbelieving..

Waterhorse. I am a sucker for fantasy fairytales and love shit. Hopeless romantic. Highly gullible and naive.

Round and Round and Round..

I wanna take the ferris wheel. When can i take the ferris wheel?

I love this picture.

865377 says:
Kana hooked by who
StooPid liL fLy says:
hooked by mermaid lor
StooPid liL fLy says:
865377 says:
serious ar? intro lei
StooPid liL fLy says:
shes mine lor
865377 says:
get to know her from e sea?
865377 says:
lol
StooPid liL fLy says:
yah
StooPid liL fLy says:
how u noe?
StooPid liL fLy says:
she is really from the sea
StooPid liL fLy says:
but too bad she is not online

Sickening SicK! Again!

Flu. Sore throat. Cold. HAte getting sick, it means I'm weak. Fucks. Can't wait for the virus to go away. Quit smoking for 2 days already.. How cool is that?

Another stupid night..

Crazy.. yes I am..

As a friend..

As a friend, i can only do this much
As a friend, i will not reject you if its within my means
As a friend, i will try to be there when you need someone
As a friend, i only want you to be happy
As a friend, i want you to stand up on your own so that i can lean on you too.

After all these while..

Life seems to change. I dunno why. I dun fucking care. Thats an understatement. I am happy. Or am I not? I was reading my past entries and read some of the comments. I am living in a real world. So fucking real that I am able to see the ugly side of it.
I fucking live in a fantasy world. Wake up my fucking idea. Complaining abt the world will not change anything. I have to change. Change. Change. Change. I did change, and saw. the world.

Superstars!

Suddenly...

Mmmm... Suddenly I rememebered somebody saying me being terrible and horrible. Am I that lousy?

Suddenly someboday said she wanna eat prawn mee after that. Wat happened?

I had alot of hugs yesterday. Hugs can de stress. I like it. Give me a hug when you see me. I need hugs.

Somebody = Someboday

Argh!!

Feel like screaming my lungs out but too bad i am coming home. I miss my prey. She is away for 5 days and not 5 fucking years..

My piercing smells like durian.
My tatt is scaling.

Incorrigible

Drunk. Memory loss. Fucks. Scary. Fun. Haha.

I'm feeling retro..

Wednesday. Tattoo. Wooohooooo!

Mooo...

Got my septum pierced. Finally.. Enjoyed every second of it. I cant wait for my next tatt.. hahaha!! Physical hurt is always better than emotional hurt.. But please dun punch me.

Song lyrics | Happy Ending lyrics

Whatever

If thoughts can be written as words, how many hearts will be broken? If love can be expressed through actions, how many will learn to cherish? How much hurt would you feel in order to be loved? How much sadness you can take in order to feel happiness? Its either black or white, right or wrong, love or hate, yes or no. I'm afraid that if you are happy now, there's always a time to be sad. Longing for love, yet can't handle being heartbroken. How many times when you're sleeping with someone, you know she is the one for you? How many times when you're holding hands with the one your other half, you know she will always be there for you? Or is it just a habit? You are so used to her, it has become a part of your life. Yet she can walk out on you anytime. Isn't it a losing game?

Gentle breeze, quiet thoughts.

I feel a sense of calmness when i come to you. I feel peaceful when i talk to you. I get a sense of security when i'm around you. I know i won't be alone because you will always be be there. Love, conquers all. Your presense conquers all. You make me feel small, but i know i will be safe. You are important to me.

Happy, Really.

I am feeling so damn happy these few days. Everyone has a market. Market of admirers. I have a market. I love supermarkets. I am happy how this realistic world works. I am happy how people love me. I am happy how people only hang out with only cool people. I am happy that they dun feel ashamed of themselves for choosing friends. I am happy that they think that they are so damn cool. I am so fucking happy. Really. I am just an auntie at heart. Really.

Love

What's more than love? What's bigger than love?

What's your purpose?

Everyone does things with a purpose. A purpose to get rich, get famous, get known, get watever. Does anyone do things with a heart anymore? Someone might say, if u do things without a purpose, then you have lived your life in vain. So how much can you accomplish? Then how much love have you given? How much have you cared? Do you really bother? I guess nowadays you get hurt easily doing things in an emotional level cos no one really cares anymore. Its always with a purpose.