Unexpected calls..

Went to work as usual even though my good buddy is on leave today.. i am prepared to die anyway.. but who knows, not much calls today and even found out that its Zinc's last day.. how sad.. our youth is dying off.. bought her a piglet mini beanie which i liked it too.. i took my chance and walked ard the office, obviously trying to eat snake..ha. its time to payback anyway. I've slogged enuff!! wanted to go out after work but cant find any.. went home str8.. funny my cousin called me and said that he needs some space for his stuff cos he's moving out.. Then, J called. Haiz, missing her like since dunno when... another one just came bcak from AUSSIE! i can scream my head off! when issit my turn? when issit going to be dec? Asking me who is going with me, if there is no one else, i also wanna go alone! i dun care. i must be mad. think she is the one that keeps me sane enuff. maybe meeting up on sat to see wat she has got for me..heh.. go "haiz Bianz" mtv.. yea.. =D

Haircut

Just "cutted" my hair today.. Two new salons just came out from nowhere from my neighbourhood and decided to do it.. Went in, expect the stylist to be those auntie pattern but hell no.. she looked cool and the place looked simple just the way i liked it. The phone is cute too.. looks like a public phone but its black in color. She's got a tattoo on her neck and another one at the hip bone too.. but its Garfield.. ha. Her hair is also nice.. short.. shes a stylist, rite? Think i will be going there to get my haircut next time if its still there.. =)

Stoned

Its not that she's been thru so much, its just that she haven't been thru that much. That affects one attitude.

MRT

Today when i was on my way to town, listening to radio.. the song Our Lives by The Calling... Hmmm... tot of something. Theres a reason we're here.. but you have to find out wat you have to do with your own life instead of questioning it.. No one will answer it except yourself.. No matter how you are feeling, its all your own doing... i mean wat a wonderful world will be if everyone is happy.. Lala... sometimes things that cant let go, it holds you down.. really.. maybe i am on my way to the Enlightenment..hahaha..

Cats Crap!

Hi, its me again... look at the time. Its just 0554hrs. why am i up so freaking early? cos i have to change bedsheets.. the glorious moment when my cat puked on my bed while i was in dreamland.. felt something wet on my knee when i realised wat she had done!! CRAP! Thank God im not working today if not, i will jump and have her head roasted! Must be drunk or something..... So stoned now.. love my cat so much and she is doing shit to me.. how sad. I as abt to change a new set of bedsheets before this incident.. guess not.. Phew.. Saw an sms..sent 0404hrs.. one of my friend's gf called me earlier.. we were suppose to hangout today but was cancelled.. asked me if i contacted Charlie, told her unable to get him.. Asked her if they quarrelled.. She broke down.. I was in shock literally, i mean.. just because of a quarrel? maybe it broke her heart or something but if its me, i will be the one burning with rage.. Ha. Anyway, the sms said dun mention to Charlie that she actually called me up.. Wondering will she know if she reads this? Quarrelling, i suppose its normal.. As long as you talked things out.. Dunno wat they quarrelled abt but wun i be in dilemma cos i cant tell? Wat am i suppose to do? I wanted to tell Charlie how worried she was. I wanted to tell Charlie that she actually cared so much abt the r/s.. maybe she herself is gonna tell Charlie that.. maybe im just an extra.. maybe i shuden be worrying in the first place.. * yawnZ* ok sleep.. Or shud i go market?

Stressed

Having frequent freaking headaches recently.. Seems like my brain is splitting into half.. Affecting my work as well.. Doc says its tension.. maybe thinking too much abt life issues and workload is also piling up...*SIGH* Amazing how things can eat away your life.. If u are just having fun, you are wasting your life.. If you are too serious, you get headaches.. Sometimes when i feel like going out, the aftermath makes me tired, if im at home, i get bored..How can one get the life str8? Luckily i have a understanding boss.. Quite a nice woman.. although she throws alot of things to my beloved sup(hafta say that, shes gonna read it) heh.. She said: As long as you try your best.. But who knows it? Maybe its just half pass six? Maybe its not enuff? I dunno.. Really appreciate the effort to find out wats wrong with me.. cos in this world, Who cares anyway rite? Maybe its just stress.. Hate it.. Struggling to year end... i want to go australia!! If not, i will die of suffocation..

-Blinded-

Blinded... how blinded are we that we dun even realise that... how sad.. when you open your eyes, u will see how beautiful this world is... there are really so many other things for us to do, to think abt. ur life, not to evolve with others, cos its urs and urs alone.. learn to be independant, learn something new everyday... You wun die being alone but you will die living other pples life... they are not forever urs. I finally understand the meaning of Emotional Dependancy. Your emotions is controlled by someone else.. I was once like this before and i am so sick of it. If you can choose to be free, why not? Its freedom of choice really.. Dun tell me that you choose to be in ED situation cos you are not happy at all.. Stop giving urself excuses. You will tire urself out. Be happy!! thats wat a friend wants you to be..=D maybe one day you will realise when u are feeling the lowest, the person you want her to be is not even there..

*Forgiving*

Forgiving... do you forgive and walk away, hoping ur heart will be at ease which in this case i suspect is in denial or do you really forgive from the bottom of the heart and dun bear grudges? who will be able to make it to this extent? i am trying to be like one. another day went by and soon it will be wednesday again.. ked and laura is coming back frm aussie, yeah! finally, been there like for 2 weeks like for years.. tmdz..wondering wat they brought back .. i am so freaking tired but my mind is still working.. no O.T claim summore.... wat the heck. Mr Gatsby says my blog seems fake.. well, i dunno..if i write everything the truth, will u be able to take it? i have thousand and one things running in my mind, ya know? i was just hoping u can just know how im feeling generally.. if i really go in depth, i think i can have a set of encyclopedia of my very own.. =Þ just ask me or maybe i will tell you more.. i dun keep things.. you know me. i need someone to share and comment on things.. oky, the end. nitez**pooF**

~party~?

Today is sunday and i din go to church.. went mad monks on friday and now my bones are acheing all over still... everybody seem to change and i cant even recognise anyone there.. where have everyone gone to? its just been like 6 months and everything is so different now.. I din wanna go down in the first place but i really need a place that i am comfortable and plays loud music... maybe im out of the scene already.. i dunno... really feel like going out today but there is really no one else i call to... wat is happening to me? its just crap.. thinking abt identity recently i cant handle it. feel like calling someone but i am trying to refrain from doing it... life seems stale now.. its all abt work and i am not liking it now... maybe i will just call whoever that comes to my mind and see wat happens next.. this is really giving me a headache.. i need to get out, but where can i go? this is shit. am i living a double life? i am just contradicting.. can anyone just gimme some answers?

RuBbiShh

Happy tots, happy tots.... lalalala... suddenly got the craving for "guo tie".. Learnt a few skills from Mr Gatsby's mum and just finished the dough only.. Life has been good.. Tot of the day: Someone just asked me to be her gf yesterday... We dun even meet and hangout, let alone be gfs? i admit we were once colleagues but its just platonic friendship.. Sometimes you just know whether the person is the one for you, the sparks? the chemistry? i finally know wat i am toking abt.=D Sometimes it just boils down to infatuation, really. it can happen anytime, any place.. the feeling is kinda crazy, just like high on drugs, hallucinating the perfect person when deep down you know that its not really perfect at all.. after the feel, you come to think of it, its silly, ha. Maybe one day i mite so crazy enuff to be stalking someone else..haha. Who doesnt want someone to be there, to hold and to cherish,thru riches and thru poor, thru sickness and in health, till death do us part? To lie in a cozy corner and to just gaze in each others eyes? Things dun always turn out to be heaven, we are on earth.. Thats cruel.. but i am contented that im not getting hurt and angered.. thats wat it becomes after love. thats my theory, i suppose..

HuManShiT

Finally after a long wait, my pc is finally back.. Thanks Mr Gatsby for fixing up my system..=D i AM a computer idiot, hee. But still i cant hear songs as yet.. =( So many tots came in my mind that i wanted to say but now its just gone with the wind.. Read Steph's online journal.. can't believe she has been writing since 2002? She's really such a doll.. helping me on my work.. thanks pal.. know you will read this someday.=Þ Was wondering why pple are always labeled as selfish.. how selfish can you really get? i really wanna try out to be really mean and selfish.. must be mad. Pple are just making use of pple everywhere.. sometimes i just lose the faith in humans. Even God seems to be inexistent. i am so damn tired of this whole thing. When can i be happy for just once? No strings attach? Wuden it be nice? I wuden be writing this crap and thinking of nonsensical stuff like the irreversible things.. We are of this world.. we are no angels. we dunno magic. Can i be someone higher than just human being? celestial being? E.T? Argh... sleep it off! i suddenly miss KED! Off to australia for 2 WHOLE weeks! another Argh!! HMPH!